'REFRESH' YOUR SCREEN EACH TIME YOU VISIT THIS SITE TO BE SURE YOU HAVE THE MOST RECENT PAGE  [updated 2/18/14]

WHAT SHOULD BE IN THE FOLDER TO BE HANDED IN?

[1] YOUR FINAL COPY of P1C, -- the combination of P1A (handed in to me) and P1B (put on Blackboard and critiqued by your colleagues --- CLEARLY MARKED AS "P1C FINAL COPY "

FORMAT: DOUBLE-SPACED, WITH A TITLE, PAGE NOS., and FOOTNOTES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGES, using the University of Chicago footnote method (without bilbiography or works cited),. LAST PAGE SHOULD PROVIDE THE WORD COUNT (both with and without quotes).

[1A] Part one (at least 700 words from the points of view of the animal)

[1B] A good transition from the animal's point of view to yours

[1C] Part two: At least seven-hundred more words about what you learned from the animal.

THIS FINAL VERSION SHOULD BE PUT IN A POCKET FOLDER WITH YOUR NAME ON THE OUTSIDE OR -5. 

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ALSO IN THIS FOLDER SHOULD BE these and only these related materials

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P1B: ADD AT LEAST SEVEN-HUNDRED MORE WORDS avoiding the errors you made according to the instructor in P1A

the critiques you receive from your colleagues (and give to them in return) will help you focus on these errors, but the best help may well be the

undergraduate writing center

where you can take the P1A paper that I have marked up, and my critique, and vol. 3 of the anthology, and direct them to the directions for the assignment on our website: http://www.la.utexas.edu/users/bump/30214/P1.html

During your first appointment focus on the category with the lowest score. Before your appointment, however, you must try to make improvements in that category yourself, using their help only with evaluation of the results and consideration of some alternatives.

Follow this procedure with the other two categories.

If you do so, I will consider raising your grade on P1A, IF you hand in the P1A paper that I have marked up, and my critique, and a revised version with all the changes highlighted that resulted from your visits and your own study of the categories.

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YOU WILL UPLOAD YOUR P1B, (THE SECOND SECTION) TO THE P1B BLOG BY 2 PM, FEB. 25. YOU WILL RECEIVE CRITIQUES FROM OTHERS FOCUSING ON THE CATEGORIES ASSIGNED BY THE INSTRUCTOR BY MIDNIGHT, MAR. 1; HARD COPY OF THE COMPLETE P1 TO BE BROUGHT TO CLASS, MAR. 6

The instructor will grade the complete P1 primarily on the basis of the three assigned categories, but will subtract points for errors in the other categories as well.

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P1B TOPIC

3. Learn from the animal (For example, what could you learn from the animal's ability to "be here now.")

Focus on the animal's traits and what you can learn from them: those that you would like to have more of yourself and those that you would like to see less of in yourself. It would be especially useful if you include traits that you need or don't need to be a better leader.

HOW COULD S/HE BE A LEADER FOR YOU?

HOW COULD S/HE HELP YOU DEVELOP YOUR OWN LEADERSHIP TRAITS?

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and for the complete project (P1A and P1B) you will need at least two of the required quotations (IF THEY ARE NOT IN YOUR P1A, THEY MUST BE IN YOUR P1B):

[a] one from a scientific account of your animal (may be from the internet) or from the anthologyon Animal Guides, and/or Animal Speak; and/or the anthology section of Spirit Animals and/or “Power Animals in Bless Me Ultima, Harry Potter, and Black Elk Speaks: A Few Examples” and/or “Totemism and Power Animals, some definitions.”

 

[b] and one from  a library book not available in any way on the internet. You may choose one of the books on reserve listed below. (Needless to say, the quote from the reserve book can not be from pages reproduced in our course anthology. )

But you will earn more points for a different kind of book about your animal such as a scientific book, for example.

In any case, you must supply complete bibliographical information for the book[s] in the footnotes. Footnotes can also be used to explain what you learned, what you are trying to represent from the point of view of the animal, etc. No interruptions in text, except for footnote numbers, placed after periods and commas. Use University of Chicago documentation system: all required information footnotes only. No bibliography or works cited. See pp. 1302-3 in your anthology and here (ignore the bibliography examples): http://www.chicagomanualofstyle.org/tools_citationguide.html

 

Books on Reserve in the PCL for This Project:

Animal spirit guides : discover your power animal and the shamanic path / Chris Lüttichau. -- BF 1275 G85 L88 2009;

Power animals : how to connect with your animal spirit guide / Steven D. Farmer. -- BF 1275 G85 F37 2004 TEXT ;

Animal-speak : the spiritual & magical powers of creatures great & small / Ted Andrews. -- BF 1623 A55 A53 1993;

Power animals : how to connect with your animal spirit guide / Steven D. Farmer. -- BF 1275 G85 F37 2004 CDROM

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. An optional, tertiary topic is to imagine not only what it is like to be your animal but also what it would be like to be a Native American who identifies with this animal.

[Note: "Identifies with" us does not mean "worships". Like us, Native Americans usually "worshipped" one God, such as the Great Spirit, rather than animals in general or individual animals]

This way, you add another calisthenic of the sympathetic imagination, trying to imagine what it was like to be Native American, especially their connection to nature.

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PROJECT 1A, the first seven-hundred words

125 POINTS AT STAKE 

+ UP TO 25 POINTS FOR RESEARCH

with an accurate word count of at least 700 words (not counting quotations)

and at least two images (steps 1 and 2 see below)

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1. (required for P1A) Begin with the animal.

You can choose your animal any way you like and you can then draw on your memories and/or the scientific observations of others to establish the traits of the animal that interest you.

Here are three contemporary guided meditations that may help you find a power animal in the Native American tradition:

Steven Farmer

Shamanic

Denise Linn

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2. (required for P1A) Be the animal

REV IEW GOALS:

[2A2a] To return to the traditional college goals of developing character and conscience.

[2A2b] To practice replacing fear and greed with love, compassion, tolerance, and the sympathetic imagination,which is essential to morality and ethics. Trying to imagine what it was like to be someone else is a form of experiential learning, the kind that can stick with you later. All of this depends on your willingness to be an actor, to willingly suspend your disbelief long enough to play the part. That willingness also enables you to FREE yourself from the world views that you may have inherited without conscious thought or decision on your part.* Trying out the worldviews of other cultures is the humanities equivalent of a scientific experiment. When you adopt, however briefly, another Weltanshauung, and see and feel as a member of that culture would, you test out whether any part of that philosophy of life is one you want to adopt and/or, by contrast, what part of the worldivew you inherited you may consciously want to embrace as an adult.

*William Blake called them your "mind-forged manacles"

 

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To get a sense of the animal, in addition to your memories and your research, use your sympathetic imagination, trying to imagine what it is like to be the animal. At least 400 words must be devoted to helping us see, feel, hear, etc. as the animal does.

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The criteria for these and the rest of the rubics is available on pp. 1261-1318 and below

1. UNITY, COHERENCE, AND FLOW

worth 12%

How you say something affects what you say because the medium IS the message, form and content are inseparable. (See your course anthology, especially: “COMPOSITION”; "COHERENCE, sign of an ‘A’ paper"; "TRANSITIONAL EXPRESSIONS"; "Writing Well is Thinking Well"; and "Undergrad Writing Center.")

Hence, grades for unity include subtracting for all errors and infelicities in the prose that stop the flow and make the reader pause, however briefly, to try to figure out what you are trying to say. Hence, all projects must have logical transitions between paragraphs and sentences as well as structural unity and progression of thought throughout. Failures of connection between paragraphs and sentences in the hard copy will be indicated by an inverted V (indicating something needs to be inserted) and points subtracted accordingly.

In addition to identifying every place in the prose that makes you pause, however briefly, consider these questions.

• Did the writing flow smoothly so you could follow the main argument?
• Can you find the main points?
• Are the transitions from one point to the next harsh, or do they transition naturally?
• Is the order developed and sustained within and across paragraphs using transitional devices?
• Is the introduction inviting?
• Is the conclusion satisfying?
• Do paragraphs deal with one subject?

• ---

  RATINGS

7. Perfect flow, with evident or subtle transitions wherever needed.

6. Very good: almost perfect flow with evidence of transitions.

5. Good: fairly good flow, with some evidence of transitions, with perhaps one obvious interruption.

4. Average: average flow with some interruptions, with or without attempts at transitions.

3. Poor: poor flow, with quite a few interruptions, with or without attempts at transitions.

2. Very poor: Minimal control, with few if any attempts at transitions, that is, very poor flow, with many interruptions.

1. Disastrous: No apparent control, no attempt at transitions in the prose, that is, almost no flow.

2. Organization and Logical Order of the Prose,

worth 12%

Is the organization clear from the start and a logical order of sequence maintained?

7. Apparently perfect organization and logical order.

6. Very good: Effective organization and fairly logical order.

5. Good: Functional organization and fairly logical order.

4. Average: Consistent organization and some logical order, with some interruptions.

3. Poor : Confused arrangement and inconsistent logical order, with quite a few interruptions.

2. Very poor: Minimal control and little logical order, with many interruptions.

1. Disastrous: No apparent control, no logical order, no apparent organization.

3. Specificity and "Concreteness": Examples, Verbal Images, Metaphors, Similes, Evidence, Supporting Details

worth 12%

Does the essay move easily between general and specific? Are claims supported by specific, detailed evidence and/or examples? Does concrete language anchor the essay, engaging the senses, and keeping it from becoming too vague? Are the basic stories and/or emotions behind the essay shown or demonstrated in personal, specific, concrete examples, images, metaphors, similes, and/or supporting sensory details that enable us to experience the world through another’s perspective?

See "Freshness" and the section on images and metaphors in the article, "Diction and Conciseness," in your anthology.

7. Excellent: Approaches the quality of a professional, perhaps even a great writer. The essay moves easily between general and specific. All claims are supported by specific, detailed evidence and/or examples. Concrete language anchors the essay, engages the five senses, and keeps it from becoming too vague. Instead of vague abstractions the basic stories and/or emotions behind the essay are shown or demonstrated in personal, specific, concrete examples, images, metaphors, similes, and/or supporting sensory details that enable us to experience the world through another’s perspective.

6. Very Good: Approaches the quality of an excellent amateur writer. The essay moves fairly easily between general and specific. Almost all claims are supported by specific, detailed evidence and/or examples. Concrete language usually anchors the essay, engages the five senses, and keeps it from becoming too vague. Instead of vague abstractions the basic stories and/or emotions behind the essay are often shown or demonstrated in personal, specific, concrete examples, images, metaphors, similes, and/or supporting sensory details that enable us to experience the world through another’s perspective.

5. Good: Approaches the quality of an excellent college writer. Most of the time, the essay moves fairly easily between general and specific. All but two or three claims are supported by specific, detailed evidence and/or examples. Concrete language anchors most of the essay, engages the five senses, and keeps it from becoming too vague. Instead of vague abstractions the basic stories and/or emotions behind the essay are at times shown or demonstrated in personal, specific, concrete examples, images, metaphors, similes, and/or supporting sensory details that enable us to experience the world through another’s perspective.

4. Average: Approaches the quality of an excellent high school writer. Some of the time, the essay moves fairly easily between general and specific. All but two or three claims are supported by specific, detailed evidence and/or examples. Concrete language anchors some of the essay, engages the five senses, and keeps it from becoming too vague. Once or twice instead of vague abstractions the basic stories and/or emotions behind the essay are at times shown or demonstrated in personal, specific, concrete examples, images, metaphors, similes, and/or supporting sensory details that enable us to experience the world through another’s perspective.

3. Poor: Approaches the quality of a high school writer. The essay rarely moves easily between general and specific. Most of the claims are not supported by specific, detailed evidence and/or examples. Concrete language anchors a little of the essay but does not keep it from becoming too vague at times. Vague abstractions abound, hiding the basic stories and/or emotions behind the essay. There is little that enables us to experience the world through another’s perspective.

2. Very Poor: Approaches the quality of a functional illiterate. The essay does not move between general and specific. The claims are not supported by specific, detailed evidence and/or examples. There is no concrete language. Vague abstractions abound, hiding the basic stories and/or emotions behind the essay, if there are any. There is nothing that enables us to experience the world through another’s perspective.

1. Disastrous: The language is so vague that it is apparent that the writer, as well as the reader, doesn’t know what s/he is talking about.

4. Integration of Verbal and Visual Rhetoric, 

worth 8%

• IS THE ORGANIZATION OF THE VISUAL AND VERBAL RHETORIC CLEAR?
• ARE THE IMAGES/MULTIMEDIA ESSENTIAL TO THE ESSAY OR NOT?
• ARE THE IMAGES/MULTIMEDIA DISCUSSED, OR AT LEAST REFERRED TO, IN THE TEXT?
• ARE THE IMAGES/MULTIMEDIA PLACED NEXT TO THE WORDS THAT CONNECT TO THEM?

7. Excellent: Sophisticated arrangement of VERBAL AND MULTIMEDIA. MULTIMEDIA includes not only still images but also movies, animated images, sound, Flash, or other special effects, but all are essential to the essay. All are placed in the text right next to the words that discuss or refer to them. The words clearly connect the multimedia to the argument and keep the flow of the prose as well as the multimedia flowing well.

6. Very good: Effective arrangement of VERBAL AND VISUAL/MULTIMEDIA. MULTIMEDIA  includes not only still images but at least one other media, but all are essential to the essay. All are placed in the text right next to the words that discuss or refer to them. The words connect the multimedia to the argument fairly well and sustain the flow of the prose.

5. Good: Functional arrangement of WORDS AND PICTURES. All images are placed in the text right next to the words that discuss or refer to them. The words connect the images to the argument fairly well. 

4. Average: Consistent arrangement of WORDS AND PICTURES. Allor all but one of images are placed in the text right next to the words that discuss or refer to them. The words connect the images to the argument somewhat.

3. Poor : Confused or inconsistent arrangement of WORDS AND PICTURES. Images are not usually placed in the text right next to the words that discuss or refer to them.

2. Very poor: Minimal control of PICTURES in relation to the rest of the essay. Images are not usually discussed in the text.

1. Disastrous: No apparent logic to the arrangement of VERBAL AND VISUAL/MULTIMEDIA or no VISUAL/MULTIMEDIA.

5.Proofreading: Typos, Spelling, and Grammar errors,

[including the need to spell out any number than can be written in one or two words]

worth 8%

Has the author re-read the essay carefully enough to catch basic proofreading errors, such as typos and missing words?

Are there any grammatical or spelling errors?

7 There are no apparent grammar, spelling, or proofreading errors.

6 There are one or two minor errors, but the prose flows fairly well.

5 There are two or three minor errors, but the prose moves along well enough.

4 There are a number of errors that force the reader to hesitate, however briefly, to figure out what the writer intended. There is some doubt as to how much of the assigned reading on spellchecks, and proofreading has been read or understood. In as much as half of the essay the flow would benefit from better proofreading.

3 Apparently not much of the assigned reading on spellchecks and proofreading has been read or understood, forcing the reader often to hesitate, however briefly, to figure out what the writer intended. In as much as two-thirds of the essay the flow would benefit from better proofreading.

2. The author appears often unaware of the appropriate use of grammar, spellchecks,and proofreading, and most of the flow of the essay suffers as a result.

1. The proofreading, and/or spelling, and/or grammar is atrocious and the essay does not flow at all.

6. Documentation,

worth 6%

Has the author revealed the sources of his images and quotations? Has the author provided complete information about these sources? Has the author followed the University of Chicago footnote system in each and every detail?   (In the website version these will be endnotes, but in the hard copy they must be footnotes.)

7. All the images and quotations are fully documented perfectly according to the University of Chicago documentation system.

6 All the images and quotations are documented according to the University of Chicago documentation system, but there are one or two minor errors.

5 All the images and quotations are documented according to the University of Chicago documentation system, but there are two or three minor errors.

4 Not all the images and quotations are documented according to the University of Chicago documentation system. There is some doubt as to how much of the reading in the handbook on the University of Chicago documentation system has been read or understood. A third or so of the images and/or quotations need better documentation.

3 Apparently not much of reading in the handbook on the University of Chicago documentation system has been read or understood, forcing the reader often to hesitate, however briefly, to figure out what the writer's sources are. Most of the images and/or quotations need better documentation.

2. The author appears unaware of the University of Chicago documentation system.

1. The author appears unaware of the need for documentation.

7. Punctuation,

worth 12%

Has the author used punctuation as the traffic signals of the language: telling us to when to slow down, what to notice, when to detour, when to stop? Has the author used punctuation to guide you through the essay without hesitating or stumbling (and thus making you retrace your steps and read a sentence again)? Has the author used punctuation the way a composer uses musical notation to show you how to perform the prose in your mind?

Has the author read and understood the relevant readings in the course anthology (Eats, Shoots, and Leaves) and handbook on punctuation, such as the following? Are the paired bracketing devices - - parentheses, dashes, quotation marks, appositives (paired commas) - -complete? Has the author avoided comma splices? Does the author make good use of colons and semicolons? Does the author know how to use hyphens with compound adjectives and numbers? Does the author know when to use quotation marks and how they work with other forms of punctuation? Does the author know when to use ellipses and when to use brackets instead of parentheses? Has the author read and understand the sections on punctuation in the anthology and in the Penguin handbook covering not only the issues above but also periods, apostrophes, exclamation points, slashes, etc. ?

7 The author has used punctuation like a great composer uses musical notation and as a result the prose flows beautifully. The punctuation appears to be perfect.

6 The punctuation guides the reader effectively, and there are no obvious moments of hesitation or stumbling as a result, but the punctuation could probably work even better if revised.

5 The punctuation is generally effective, but there are one or two places where it could be changed, added, or removed to improve the flow of the essay.

4 There is some doubt as to how much of the assigned reading on punctuation has been read or understood. In as much as half of the essay the flow would benefit from changing, adding, or removing punctuation.

3 .Not much of the assigned reading on punctuation has been read or understood. In as much as two-thirds of the essay the flow would benefit from changing, adding, or removing punctuation.

2. The author appears unaware of the appropriate use of many modes of punctuation, and most of the flow of the essay suffers as a result.

1. The punctuation is atrocious and the essay does not flow at all.

Where can I find out more? See your course anthology:" Eats, Shoots, and Leaves: commas, semicolons "

8. Word choice,

worth 15%

Paris Review: How much rewriting do you do?

Paris Review: Was there some technical problem there? What was it that stumped you?

Hemingway: Getting the words right

More on Word Choice

Is the best word in the best place throughout this essay? How many words do not seem to be the very best possible choices? Has the author been as specific as possible? Has the author used examples and “word pictures” as needed, that is, “illustrations, analogies, vivid quotations, metaphors, similes” (Trimble 76)? Does the prose delight the reader with wit, fresh phrases, new insights, fresh images? Has the reader avoided empty abstractions?

See how abstractions are the opposite of what is sought in writing in English courses.

7 The diction is fresh, witty, and very specific. You cannot see anywhere that it could possibly be improved.

6 You cannot see how the diction might be  easily improved, but it is not very witty, fresh, or striking.

5 The diction is first-rate but there are one or two words that could be replaced with better ones.

4 The diction is good but there are a number of words and/or one or two sections that might be improved by revision.

3. The diction is adequate but the author does not appear to have taken the time to revise for word choice.

2. The diction is mediocre, boring, at times vague: lots of useless repetition, empty abstractions, passive voice, needlessly protracted sentences, empty intensifiers, expletives and impersonal constructions like “there is” and “it is.”

1. The word choice is so poor that at times it is difficult to tell exactly what the author is trying to say.

Where can I find out more? See your course anthology:"THE OXFORD ENGLISH DICTIONARY, OXFORD REFERENCE ONLINE"; "Diction and Conciseness"

9. Conciseness,

worth 15 %

Is the author diluting the force of his message by using too many words? Or is the author using only as many words as are absolutely necessary, avoiding repetition, redundance, wordiness, unnecessary modifiers, empty intensifiers, unnecessarily long and convoluted sentences?

7. Succinct, powerful prose, undiluted by unnecessary verbiage.

6. Economical prose. No section, no word choice, could be easily revised for conciseness.

5. Fairly concise prose, but various words if not sections suggest there is some redundance or repetition that could cut to increase the conciseness.

4. Adequate prose but some repetition, redundance, wordiness, unnecessary modifiers, empty intensifiers, or unnecessarily long and convoluted sentences and thus about a third of the essaywould benefit clearly from cutting the waste.

3. About half of the essay needs excision of repetition, redundance, wordiness, unnecessary modifiers, empty intensifiers, or unnecessarily long and convoluted sentences.

2. Essay as a whole needs excision of repetition, redundance, wordiness, unnecessary modifiers, empty intensifiers, or unnecessarily long and convoluted sentences.

1. The excess verbiage is so great that some of the meaning of the essay is obscured.

Where can I find out more? See below and your course anthology:"Diction and Concisenes"

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LOOKING AHEAD:

 Detailed criteria for your print version here (to be turned into the instructor).