The Butterfly Connection

             I was what some would call a ‘troublemaker’ in kindergarten. By Christmas I had already solidified my glowing reputation throughout the school. The highlights for me so far had been running down the hallway with a fistful of crayons, making a huge rainbow on the white paint, and tricking boys into holding hands with me, after which I would laugh maniacally, saying I’d given them a deadly strain of cooties. Cruel, perhaps, but antics like these entertained me when I grew bored of singing the ABCs. Naturally, the prospect of returning for another semester threw my six-year old self into a frenzy with thoughts of new adventures to embark upon. I was confused, however, when I arrived (late as usual) on my first day back from winter break and saw my classmates not playing our usual rousing game of house, but huddled quietly around a small, netted jar.

             Peering inside, I saw two tiny caterpillars munching on lettuce and something that looked like a shriveled seed hanging from the lid. As my teacher explained that these new class pets would be staying with us until they learned to fly, I couldn’t stop staring at that little seed. I wondered what was inside of it, what it was doing in there, and how it planned on getting out. I wondered whether it had enough food and whether it was warm enough. For weeks I wondered, abandoning my usual capers to instead dream about the little thing inside of the seed that I named Poky, for reasons I’ve forgotten. Over time, the two caterpillars disappeared and two new seeds joined Poky, peacefully swaying when I curiously tapped the jar every now and again.

             Finally, the day arrived. As I occupied my usual seat next to Poky’s throne, I noticed that his seed had broken. Something was beginning to struggle inside of it. Completely freaked out, I pressed my face up as close as I could while my classmates clamored around me. Tension was high as we waited with baited breath to finally see what had been living in there for so long. A few minutes later, I witnessed the emergence of something truly beautiful: Poky the butterfly.

[1]

             Ever since that day, I have felt a close connection with the beautiful insects. My favorite summer pastime as I grew up became lying in the grass under the blooming trees in my backyard, watching droves of butterflies flutter from flower to flower. I knew if I was lucky that day that one of the butterflies would deign to alight upon my shoulder, my finger, or even one time the tip of my nose. As an avid observer, I began to learn more about not only the physical characteristics of the butterflies, but also their behaviors and attitudes. I began to compare myself to them and in that realized how much they could teach me.

             As the personality quiz we took stated, I am an ENFP, meaning I am extroverted, intuitive, feeling, and perceiving. There are many characteristics of the ENFP, but for me the core is really individualism. One of the most important things to me is staying true to myself and being unique no matter how strange my ideas and habits sometimes look when juxtaposed to the social norms. Frequently, I find myself doing normal things like pouring milk in my cereal and walking to class differently each time just for fun. Curiosity is one of my most prominent personality traits. I feel like it connects us to the world around us in such a way that makes ignorance almost a crime. Because I am so curious, I thrive on change. Taking chances and allowing myself to follow new paths in anticipation of what may lie ahead excites me. I also truly value freedom, so much so that I try not to make plans that I can’t get out of later on if I so desire. Because of this, I get frustrated when I’m tied down to too many things. Frustration often plagues me when it comes to school. I want so badly to do well that the thought of failure sometimes paralyzes me until I talk myself down, realizing that everything happens for a reason, and one bad grade isn’t going to effect the course of my life or of my day unless I allow it to. In recognizing all of these characteristics of myself, I can connect to my spirit animal, the butterfly, and identify exactly what there is to learn from her.

             Of all the behaviors that butterflies take part in, the most obvious is flight. Their delicate wings flap in the wind, taking them wherever they wish to go which is more than likely the petal of a nectar-rich flower. They understand the importance of traveling wherever feels right, and not questioning their instincts. Through flight, they achieve a freedom that I can only dream of. I am reminded and encouraged by this to strive to get where I want to go in life and to do what I want to do, not allowing others to influence me into being someone I’m not. In our “ hyper-industrialized, polluted, and plugged-in culture,” it is often too easy to get caught up in what everyone else is doing and lose yourself [2]. The butterfly helps me stay true to myself.

             While I lay watching the butterflies, I noticed that they kept hopping from flower to flower, like some sort of happy dance, checking to see what each one might have to offer. The seemingly playful way in which they to search for food, which is actually something extremely necessary for survival, is a reminder to me “not to take things quite so seriously” such as grades and schoolwork. While doing well in college is obviously very important, working myself towards an anxiety attack every time I’m afraid I’ve done poorly on an assignment isn’t healthy and doesn’t do anything positive for me or my grades. For example, because I have two tests and this paper due this week, I have pulled three all nighters in a row. Not only does the night guard at Jester seriously question my sanity, other areas of my life have suffered because of it, especially my physical and, frankly, mental health. The sad thing is that staying up all night like that wasn’t even necessary. Had I not stressed myself out worrying whether I knew enough, I would have been able to sleep. So from the butterfly I can learn to recognize that there are and will be more important things to worry about over the course of my life.

 [3]

             The most important and relevant lesson to be learned, though, from the butterfly is to embrace change as it comes, without hesitation or fear. When Poky emerged from his chrysalis, he didn’t stop to take a rest before learning to fly. He fluttered his wings and started right then and there. The butterfly goes through four stages of living, moving from egg, to caterpillar, to chrysalis, and finally to butterfly. Through all of these stages, she remains full of life and grace. As a new college student, I am encountering a whole lot of change. Even though I love change and believe that it brings exciting opportunity, I admit that this drastic transformation of my life has been jarring. A month ago I lived at home with my family, I had no job, no commitments, and plenty of time to relax. Now I live in one room with someone else in another city, I work at the Daily Texan, I’m a Legislative Aid, I’m in Delta Gamma, and I almost have trouble finding time to practice good hygiene, let alone relax. I would call that more than my fair share of change. However, the butterfly shows me that as long as I don’t resist the changes occurring in my life right now, the “growth and change does not have to be traumatic.” It can “occur as gently, as sweetly, and as joyously” as I let it [4].

             The idea of ‘going with the flow’ or responding calmly to change is one that would be helpful to have not only in life, but also as a leader. In taking on responsibility such as that associated with leading, there is bound to be a multitude of unexpected events that you must react to. The butterfly can teach me to assess a situation with a cool head and objectively determine the best approach. Learning from her, I can recognize that my reaction to change is almost more important than the change itself.

             Poky the butterfly flew away the day that he emerged from his chrysalis, to my tearful goodbye, but the impact that he had on my life was lasting. It is true that “the animal world shows us the potentials we can unfold… every animal is a gateway to the phenomenal world of the human spirit” [6]. Today I can say without hesitation that I am truly a butterfly. I fly wherever I deem worthy of flying, I try to keep everything in perspective, and I welcome any change the world wants to throw at me. 

Notes:

[1] http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Ycs3knOJ3as/TEJuJSD31mI/AAAAAAAAAHA/76WZP5n10Tw/s1600/

 crysillas+butterly.jpg

[2] Andrews, Ted. "Animal Speak," in Composition and World Literature (Austin, Texas: Jerome Bump, 2011), 112.

[3] http://welovebutterflies.com/butterfly-garden/

[4] Ted Andrews, Animal Speak: The Spiritual and Magical Powers of Creatures Great and Small. (Woodbury: Minnesota Llewellyn Publications, 2009), 340.

[5] http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/rma/lowres/rman9655l.jpg

[6] Chris Lottichau, Animal Spirit Guides: Discover Your Power Animal and the Shamanic Path (New York: CICO Books, 2009), 105.