Deer Mouse Squeaks
My
earliest memories are vague, as if I were in a hazy dream. I spent the first
days of my life blind, 
surrounded by my five brothers and sisters,
with our mother hovering over us to keep our tiny naked bodies warm.[[1]] I remember
the comfort of the nest Mother made, lined with shredded grass, fur, and
feathers.[[2]]
In the nest, under MotherÕs body, the world felt safe and cozy. I had little
idea how wrong I was.
[i] [ii]
I donÕt know how long I was without sight, but Mother says
it was about two weeks. At around the same time, my hairless, pink skin began
to sprout soft fur; my Òplump, round belly was white,Ó while the Òrest of [my]
fur was orange-brown.Ó[[3]]
If I looked anything like my siblings, I had Òlarge ears and dark, almost round
eyes, full of whiskers, tiny nose, pink toes and tail.Ó [[4]]
My siblings and I quickly grew too big for Mother to hover over us, so we began
to venture out into the world.
We
lived under the protective cloak of nighttime. We are but small creatures, and
the night hides us from the mice-eaters. Our large ears and eyes, along with our
sensitive noses, are our only defense against them. It was only after we
ventured outside of the nest that we realized what a small part of it we truly
were. One night when my siblings and I were exploring the forest, we saw silent
winged shadow sweep across the moon. Thankfully, Mother was with us too. She
squeaked at us, Òstamping [her] front feet rapidly and vibrating her tailÓ
urgently.[[5]]
We knew that was her warning sign and hurried back to the tunnel underground in
the shelter of our nest. ÒThat was the Owl,Ó Mother said gravely. ÒIt will
swoop down and pluck you away without a sound. We must always be wary of predators.Ó
[iii]
Although
I was with Mother only for a short time, I learned all about surviving from
her. We mice are always moving: always sniffing, always listening, always watching. We are also a resourceful and humble
species, finding homes in burrows underground and even in hollowed out trees.
We make do with what we can, foraging for berries, seeds, fruit, and insects
without much pickiness. Even though the night is dangerous, daylight is even
more so. When the sun rises, I know I will have to return home to my
underground burrow and sleep until the night returns.[[6]]
Although
my life will not be very long, I have already known many friends and family who
have been taken by the night. But that is simply the life of a mouse, and I
accept my role in this world. You may think my life is insignificant, but I
enjoy living mostly unnoticed. It is in my nature—my role in the
world—as a mouse.
I was
terribly unsure of my spirit animal until Hoot Owl suggested the mouse to me.
After doing some research into its behavior and characteristics as a spirit
animal, I realized the mouse was a good fit for my personality while still
offering ways for me to improve as a person. For the purpose of the spirit
animal narrative, I chose the deer mouse to maintain continuity and create more
specificity. I can certainly see the mouse as a Òtrustworthy oracle for advice
É who will help [me] learn about both the spirit world and the natural world.Ó [[7]]
One of
the characteristics I have most in common with the mouse is that I always try
to Òquietly get on with [my] business and accomplish [my] purpose without too
much attention.Ó[[8]]
I actually feel progressively more mouse-like as I write. IÕm generally quiet
by nature, so IÕm okay with being unobtrusive for the most part. I blend into the
background, so sometimes I get a bit surprised when people notice me. I think
itÕs because IÕm a small person, and mice are small animals (well, most of
them). Mice mostly communicate in squeaks, shrieks, and trills; likewise, I
have a hard time projecting my voice. Some people say itÕs a confidence issue,
but I think thatÕs also just how the timbre of my voice is. Anyway, as I
researched more on the mouse as a spirit animal, I learned that I have more in
common with this little rodent than simply physical characteristics.
The
mouse is Òvery detail-oriented, so much that [she] sometimes loses the big
picture.Ó[[9]]
This characteristic is in the nature of a mouse because it is such a small
animal, and I definitely identify with her. Unlike the mouse, I donÕt have good
eyesight at all, but I do have a good eye. IÕm proud of my attention to detail
as a rhetoric and writing major because IÕm usually able to spot mistakes
easily. My skill is also helpful in leadership roles because IÕm able to assist
and remind my peers about important details that may get overlooked.
My
attention to detail can also be a weakness, and naturally the challenge for the
mouse and for me will be to find a balance between the two. On one hand, fixating
on details makes me lose sight of the ultimate goal and hampers my ability to
follow through with my many obligations. Sometimes I find myself caught up in
minor tasks, such as figuring out how exactly to word an email or precisely
what to include on a short presentation. On the other hand, focusing only on
the big picture would cause me to overlook and skip over the smaller tasks that
I need to accomplish step by step. Having the mouse as my spirit animal will
remind me of the careful balance between being detail-oriented and
goal-oriented.
The
mouse also tends to be Òclean and fastidious in many areas of [her] life, but
neglectful in others.Ó [[10]] I can
definitely relate to this quality as well. I suppose it goes back to how I tend
to be detail-oriented. Naturally, itÕs impossible to pay attention to every
single detail of every single aspect of my life, so I do end up keep up with
certain things pretty well while falling behind in others. For example, if I
catch up with coursework for one class, itÕs at the cost of falling behind on
work for another class. Again, finding a balance between details and the big
picture will be necessary for me.
The
mouse likes to be organized, which makes sense as it would be necessary for
living in such a small space. She must keep her nest neat not only for herself,
but for her pups as well. Unfortunately I lack that quality, and IÕll be
looking to the mouse for guidance on keeping everything in its place. If only
my life and possessions were as simple as the mouseÕs! Sometimes I feel like I
have way too many things to put away, but no place to put them. Organization is
an essential trait for a leader, so I need to learn from the mouseÕs spirit in
order to lead successfully and efficiently.
[iv]
I think the clutter in my living space is partly
due to the fact that I like to Òwarehouse supplies, keeping enough around so
that [I] donÕt have to worry.Ó [[11]]
Some mice hibernate; others, such as deer
mice, do not. As foragers, deer mice must constantly search for food even when
it is scarce during the wintertime. As a result, they like to store food and
collect feathers, grass, and fur to keep their nest comfortable. Similarly, I
always like to take extra of something (groceries, school supplies, etc.) so
that I won't have to worry about getting it later in case I run out.
As I
mentioned before, the mouse and I like to shy away from attention because weÕre
more comfortable being out of the spotlight and not out in the open, which
feels like dangerous territory. Although IÕm getting better at it, my heart races
when I have to speak in front of a large group or even anticipate speaking in
front of one. There are still times when I want to contribute to a discussion
but am too timid to jump in and say what I want. I want to further branch out
of my comfort zone more because itÕs not conducive to being a good leader, and
I need to learn to not be afraid of having eyes on me. The mouse isnÕt by
nature an assertive creature, and neither am I. I think this will be one of my
biggest struggles as a leader: creating a large presence despite having a
withdrawn nature.
I think
that calling on the mouseÕs energy could help me solve a lot of the obstacles I
face everyday—feelings of being overwhelmed, disorganized, unproductive,
and scattered. Before I started this semester, the reality of my
responsibilities for work and my organizations already began to loom over me. A
change in my personal life which I didnÕt have any control
over only made me feel worse. As a result, IÕve not been feeling as
self-motivated as usual, and I find myself so easily distracted. The most frustrating
part is that I become worried and preoccupied with anticipating what I have to
do instead of simply doing it. If I actually finished my work efficiently, I
wouldnÕt have anything to worry about. Hopefully by calling on the mouseÕs
spirit and energy, IÕll be able to reorganize my obligations and better
prioritize what I need to do so I can finally get things done.
I am
glad, however, that I can be honest with myself about my strengths and more
importantly, my weaknesses. The mouse knows what sheÕs good at, but she also
knows her limitations. Although IÕm not the most extroverted person (among
other qualities), at least my ability to identify my problems will help me
begin the process of working through them. As a leader, I think the mouse will
help me with the rest of it: being prepared, being organized, and having a
clear idea of the tasks ahead.
WORD
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