I AM ELEPHANT
I do
not know my own strength. Mother tells me time and again. That evening, I
reluctantly returned to the herd knowing I would hear it once more. I had
played too roughly with my best friend, Bahati. She began the tussle as she
usually did - I was just defending myself. But I know Mother will not
understand. When will I ever get to let go, run wild, feel free? The cheetah
does not hold back its speed. The fish eagle does not fly low. Why must I hold
back the strength I feel inside of me? If I
feel the intensity build much longer, I may explode.
I am an
elephant, the largest animal of our land. Each night my grandmother tells me
stories of our ancestors - powerful warriors and wise leaders. My aunts tell
stories of my father and his father, men I may never know, for males leave our
tribe only to return with the gift of life. I admire all of the strong women in
my tribe and I want to be like them. When will I find my purpose? What will I
find within myself and give to our tribe? Mother says it takes time to find
your place, but most of the members my age are already learning tasks and
taking rank as warriors, healers and shaman.
That night
I snuggled up to my mother. Her name is Shani and she has lived for forty-four
summers. She is well respected within the tribe, known for her ability to
settle disputes and communicate with all members of our tribe. Rutendo, my
grandmother, helps deliver the newborns and shows new mothers how to nurture
their babies. [1] She sat nearby. I listened to them talk, rumbling to
each other about the humans. Our homeland is near a lodge where humans
vacation. They like to drive around the desert and watch us from afar, and
although they have not shown a threat for some time, we know what they are
capable of. Grandmother and the other elders tell stories of a time when the
humans were nothing but malicious against our people. Those humans use the gun,
an ugly and horrendous invention, to kill the animals of the desert. It has
been said, years ago, they killed one of largest bulls in our area and just
took his tusks. We do not speak of the humans often. We are not scared of the
humans, for we are elephants, but we keep our distance.
I woke up, suddenly, to my alarm. I had been in deep sleep, dreaming of the
Sahara. Family and friends surrounded me; I had been an elephant. My previous two weeks were spent
searching for my spirit animal to no avail. So here it is, an elephant? The
more I thought about it, the more it made sense. As a child, my father took me to
the zoo almost weekly. Watching the animals was my favorite pastime. The
elephants always fascinated me; their sounds and movements thrilled me. In
first grade, I was an elephant in our school play. My mother stuffed my tiny
t-shirt with newspaper and glued huge gray ears to a headband I wore. I was
ecstatic. I tried my best to move with the confidence and grace I witnessed at
the zoo. I recognized these
qualities in the elephant as important in childhood and, now, hope to emulate
them as an adult.
As I tried
to recall the rest of my dream, I thought more about what the elephant means to
me as a spirit animal. It has been said that dreams filled with the elephant
carry messages of transformation and spiritual power. [2] In my
dream, I had been an elephant nervous about life choices; wary of threats to my
security and sometimes uncomfortable in my own skin. Sounds about right. The
power of this realization made me stop to take a few deep breaths. How will the
elephant help me transform? What will she teach me? What traits of hers can I
develop for myself? After some research, I realized why the elephant had chosen
me, and I her.
The elephant is a symbol of the highest true self. She represents feminine
power and may be referred to as the Òmother of all teachers.Ó [3] With
males being evicted after puberty, herds are inherently matriarchal. The females must find their place, working together
to find food, raise young and protect the herd. Experienced grandmothers in the
herd help young mothers and calves with nurturing guidance and keep supportive
relationships among all members. Leadership roles are not demanded, but adopted
by the strong and wise elders of the group. I have been lucky enough to witness
strong matriarchs in my own family. My mother raised me with little help from
my father. Their divorce left them bankrupt, but somehow she held strong and
built a career around her passion for creativity. She is now a successful,
self-employed artist and teacher with offers to lecture at institutes around
the world. She
has three sisters, a lawyer, psychologist and judge– all of whom I
considered to be strong role models while growing up and still do. Each has
determination and strength I can only hope to emulate. And finally, at age ten,
my grandfather was diagnosed with PickÕs disease, a disease similar to
AlzheimerÕs, leaving my grandmother to run her own household. At the time, I
could not appreciate the strength, adaptability and endurance she exhibited.
All of the women in my family united to face our struggles together. Together,
they provide me with an example of teamwork, while each sets a standard of
determination, courage and resolve I
try and match each day. I look forward to the day when I have my own
family and can model these ideals for my children and hopefully, future
generations.
I look to
learn from the elephant in ways of leadership for this reason. Males and
females usually live different lives, with important lessons to be learned form
each. There has been little documentation of severe conflict and violence
within female herds; each elephant
knows her place and respects the rest of the group. I find this
cooperative leadership inspiring. Males often live outside the herd, alone or
in smaller groups. Each is driven out or chooses to leave the group after
reaching sexual maturity. [4] This
practice at first appeared harsh, but allows the males to develop a sense of
independence and learn from other bulls in the area to develop their own
hierarchy. I take both social scenarios into account while looking to the
elephant for guidance in leadership. Accepting help from others and forcing
myself to try new things independently and speak up for myself are both worthy
goals in leadership.
Also known for their
cognitive ability (in the animal kingdom), elephants are ranked with
chimpanzees and dolphins as the most intelligent. They have even been known to outwit humans. [5] I
find it essential to recognize the mental capabilities of our fellow earthlings
and remind myself of the millions of years of evolution, which produced each
specie we share the world with today. Looking back to my days spent at the zoo
as a child, I feel as though I could sense the intelligence, the humanity, in
animals, even then. I am often nostalgic for the mysticism and wonder my
childhood held; I want to find that belief in magic again - the belief that if
I just spoke to the elephants long enough, they would lift their trunks and
respond.
As I
continued to read Ted AndrewsÕ interpretation, I felt connected once more. The
elephant is also linked to the planet and Greek god, Neptune. [6] This
connection to the blue planet and god of the oceans symbolizes illusion and
fantasy, the unconscious and its gift of imagination. Although I may strive for
these qualities, I must also keep in mind the negative aspects of each.
While scouring the Internet in search of more information on the elephant I
discovered a blog titled, Speaker for the Animals. The author is named only
Lion, his or her spirit animal I presume. Lion writes about learning from the
elephant, ÒThe dreamerÉmust learn to live in the Present, using his creativity
to build dreams here, instead of wandering only in the realms of the fantastic
within his mind.Ó [7] I read
the sentence ten times. I have been fighting this battle for years; the battle
between getting lost in my dreams of my future and taking the necessary steps
each day to get there. I often find myself frustrated because I am not getting
to my destination fast enough, while making decisions on a daily basis which
make getting there harder. I must learn from the elephant – stay in
present time; build my future from this moment.
And so, I
have more to learn from the elephant than I ever could have imagined. I look to
her for strength on communication and cooperation as well as overcoming
individual hurdles and developing independence. I keep her in mind in these
ways while I develop my own leadership skills. I look to her for reminders of
my childhood and to rediscover the depths of my imagination, while balancing
that fantasy with realities of my day-to-day life. I use her creativity in
problem solving and expressing myself artistically, whether it through writing
or artwork. Most importantly, I hold the elephant close as a reminder of the
continued search of my highest true self, both courageous and imaginative.
Captions
for images:
1. I am
Rudo and I have lived for seven summers. [8]
2. I feel
one with the elephant. [9]
3. Image
of elephant love and support. [10]
4. Click here to watch this incredible creature paint an image of itself [11]
WORD COUNT
WITH QUOTATIONS: 1593
WORD COUNT
WITHOUT QUOTATIONS: 1560
ORIGINAL URL: https://courses.utexas.edu/webapps/portal/frameset.jsp