Forward

 

 

Manta Ray

Animal Humanities

October 9, 2012


 

Forward

I am warm and safe. It is dark, and my wings are curled around my body. I sense the gentle motion of my mother smoothly carrying me forward. Sometimes the forward motion leads up, sometimes down, but always forward.[1] I can feel my motherÕs steady heartbeat. My entire memory consists of forward motion and that reassuring drumming sound, du-dum, du-dum, du-dum.

That is all I know until the beat quickens and the forward motion is suddenly more forceful. A new sensation runs through my body. The space begins constricting around me, and we travel forward and down, down further than ever before. A gentle pressure begins from below and builds into a strong squeeze on my folded wings. My motherÕs heart is racing more rapidly than I thought possible. There is more pressure, and it is so uncomfortable that I wiggle my confined body. Suddenly, more so than anything I have ever known, my mother rises, but I do not rise with her. All in the same instance, I become cold and blinded by a great light. I struggle to understand this chilly new place. But somehow, a single fundamental message penetrates the confusion, an urge to move my wings. In my first act of independence, I unwrap my wings from my body and uncomfortably expose my torso to the world. [2]

I yearn to wrap myself in my wings again, but I do not dare because the instinct to move them is so persistent. As I flap my wings, I move forward. This sensation is familiar and comforting. My eyes are able to make out shapes in the blinding light, and they struggle to see through the cloudy substances my mother left in the water. I look for her, curious to glimpse the form that I was a part of for so long, but she is gone. I am alone, just me and the water that seems to go on forever on every side of me.

I continue forward, for that is all I know. As I move, I notice my mouth pulling water over and through my gills.[3] The sensation is refreshing and energizing. I notice tiny zooplankton being caught in the protrusions from my gills. This is extremely satisfying, and I realize I am hungry. I continue my slow, relaxed swim toward areas where there are more plankton. My gentle feeding swim feels as natural as if I have done it forever and will never stop. I do not stress or become anxious about my destination. I simply know that I am content in the here and now, and the basic act of being is satisfying.

I continue forward—always forward, and the light changes. I notice that the light originates from a dazzling, rippling surface above me. I am curious and approach it until I am almost touching the splendid surface. It is unknown to me, but I do not know fear. I move to touch it and my wing tips glide through the wonderful, tickling barrier. Without reservation, I swim swiftly down to gain speed and whirl back up to break through the surface into a hot, dry space. I plummet back into the water and then up again into the peculiar other world.[4] These flights delight me, so I continue to perform them. Gradually, the worlds both above and below the surface become dark. I resume my swim and pass through a concentration of plankton greater than I have ever encountered. I want to swim back to the column of plankton, but I cannot swim backwards. I compensate by curving my back so that a new angle of forward propulsion sends me into a somersault.[5] I tumble right back into the plankton. I repeat this action continuously up and down the water column until I am wholly satisfied. I continue onward without hurry, for I have nowhere specific to go. I simply progress through the water with no fears, no worries, and no reservations. The light comes and goes many times, but I am always here, always moving forward. In my forward journey, many creatures pass me, but I do not bother them and they do not trouble me. I do not have constraints or rules, and my life has no set path. It does not have a manta =).jpgdestination, but rather, is a never-ending journey.

I pull myself out of my life as a manta ray and back to reality. I realize my connection with the manta ray has become almost tangible and, after a meditation, it is impossible to quickly shrug off the manta ray persona. When I think as the manta ray, I experience my long-time desire to feel like, ÒI am part of the natural world,Ó but there is so much more to the experience than just a feeling.[6] I believe I have actually tapped into the collective unconscious. When I step into the Òuniversal human bathtubÓ that holds the Òmemories, experiences, and wisdomÓ of our species, the Òvast network of imaginationÓ penetrates every level of my being. This Òinnate wisdomÓ affects me in many ways, from the obvious to the incredibly personal. [7]

Dana Sponge.jpg            To begin with, I pride myself in my creativity and willingness to be unique. In manta rays, Òeach individual has a characteristic pattern of dark markings on the ventral sideÓ that cause each manta ray to be one of a kind. These Òindividual identifying marksÓ make manta rays just as unique as I am.[8]

I further relate to the manta ray based on our mutual affinity to water. As a child, I was in love with The Little Mermaid, but there was one detail about the movie that ate away at me. I could not understand why anyone would want to live on land instead of Òunder the sea.Ó[9] I used to hate swim lessons, not because of the swimming, but because I did not like constraints on my time in the water. I wanted to do what felt natural, not perform predetermined movements for a designated amount of time. This youthful desire for freedom in the water manifests itself in the lifestyle of the manta ray. As I grew up, I continued to be enamored with water. I came to love sailing and kayaking, and I became a certified scuba diver at the age of twelve.

            On dive studentsÕ first dives, they usually describe breathing underwater as awkward, incredibly thrilling, or both. However, for me, it felt natural, like something I was meant to do. Eight years later, I am a certified dive instructor. If I could, I would spend more time in the water than out of it. Therefore, it makes sense that my spirit animal is not only a sea creature, but it actually appeared to me during a scuba dive in the ocean on the island of Bonaire.

The manta ray approached the dive boat and circled underneath it. The first diver in the water announced that there was a manta ray under the boat, and I have never seen a dive boat clear out so fast. Sixteen divers geared up and jumped in the ocean in about forty-five seconds. The tumultuous splashes of divers and tanks hitting the water did not provoke the manta ray. In fact, he did not seem like he had ever harmed anything or anyone and was just there to quietly observe. Unfortunately, not everyone has this same mentality, as evidenced by the yards of fishing line tangled around one of his wings. It had obviously been there for quite some time because the flesh had grown around it, deforming the wing. Even with his deformity at the hands of humans, he was not angry or violent. Actually, he didnÕt appear to have a temper at all, which is a trait that I deeply admire. As an overemotional person, I hope to eventually emulate the manta rayÕs demonstrated ability to send out love instead of hate in the face of adversity.

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He also did not react to his trauma with fear, as he did not shy away from us. In fact, manta rays are, Òeasily approached by divers.Ó[10] They even, Òsometimes seem to enjoy human contact. Some have been known to investigate contact and return to a dive group repeatedly.Ó[11] If I had experienced such distress from men, I would avoid humans with contempt, but the manta ray did not hold a grudge or judge us based on the actions of our peers. This ability to withhold fears and judgments that are based in stereotypes is a trait that I value in my life and share with the manta ray.

The manta rayÕs reserved, watchful behavior has shown me other ways in which I could progress toward Òinnate wisdom.Ó[12] I am often loud and overly extroverted. After studying manta rays, I am striving to become more observant and a better listener. These are traits that would condition me as both a better friend and leader. I was further mystified by the manta rayÕs sense of contentment with the world. His serenity calmed me, and for those few minutes that I was graced by the manta rayÕs presence, I felt at peace. I had nothing to do and nowhere to be. I was able to simply swim and observe the splendor of the world around me.

I have experienced that immense tranquility very few times in my life. I am often compared to the energizer bunny; I keep going and going and going without slowing down to focus on the present. Reflecting on my life thus far, I realize that I have spent most of my time working towards something, trying to get there as fast as possible. In high school I worked myself half to death taking AP classes while still spending an astronomical amount of time on extracurriculars. I had hopes that my effort in high school would make my life in college easier. I came to college with thirty-three hours of credit but did not slow my pace. I took fifteen hours every semester because it never occurred to me to take a light course load; a willingness to take it easy is just not part of my personality. I am now graduating early, but as I reflect on the last two years, I would have rather graduated on time and taken college slowly, enjoying experiences as they came to me. This is the reason that the manta ray appeared to me. I understand now that I should to take my time with things and enjoy the present. Like the manta ray somersaults back to columns of plankton and lingers there, I should pause and enjoy pleasurable moments instead of pushing on to what is next.

Not only should I apply this to my own personal life, but to my interactions with others as well, since the manta ray embodies traits that I lack as a leader. To grow as a leader, I should focus on slowly moving toward harmony and peace rather than rapidly working for perfection. The manta ray can teach me to be calm and forward-focused. When I make mistakes in my frantic rush, I become incredibly upset with myself, especially when people are depending on me. I dwell for days on what I did wrong, which makes me want to work even harder and more fervently. This is unhealthy and uncharacteristic of the manta ray. However, the manta ray does not turn around and wallow in water already passed, and my journey as a leader should reflect this. As manta ray, I will keep going forward, but slowly, serenely, and without judgment or anger. I will not look back with regret, but instead I will enjoy the present and the thrill of the unknown future.

 

Total Word Count: 1964

Total word Count without quotations: 1899

URL: https://courses.utexas.edu/webapps/portal/frameset.jsp

Images:

Figure 1:  Manta ray somersaulting, RobinÕs Red Bottom, September, 12, 2012, http://robinsredbottom.blogspot.com/?zx=f157bb9602779304.

Figure 2: In my natural habitat, David L. Dinsmore, 2007

Figure 3 & 4: The actual manta ray I saw, David L. Dinsmore, 2008

 

 



 

[1] Manta rays can only move forward.

Manta Trust, ÒMantas at a Glance,Ó 2012, accessed September 26, 2012, http://www.mantatrust.org/about-mantas/mantas-at-a-glance/.

[2] In the only observed manta ray birth that was not induced by stress, the pregnant manta ray rubbed her belly against the ground, rose in the water, and ejected the manta ray pup with its wings rolled up.

Rich Weiss, ÒDeath of Manta Ray Sheds New Light on Species," The Washington Post, July 2, 2007, accessed September 26, 2012, http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/07/01/AR2007070100765.html.

[3] The Hawaii Association for Marine Education and Research, Inc., ÒManta Rays,Ó 2011, accessed September 26, 2012, http://www.hamerhawaii.com/Main%20Web%20Pages/Education/Marine%20Life/Rays/

manta_rays.htm#Top, (hereafter cited as The Hawaii Association). 

[4] ÒMantas are occasionally observed leaping partially or completely out of the water; sometimes one after the other. The purpose of this behavior is unclear.Ó

The Hawaii Association.

[5] Manta rays Òsometimes will swim in repeated somersaults through a dense patch of plankton.Ó The Hawaii Association.

[6] Ted Andrews, Ò Animal-Speak,Ó in Animal Humanities, ed. Jerome Bump (Austin, Texas: 2012), 455

[7] Stefani Weiss, ÒSpirit Animals,Ó in Animal Humanities, ed. Jerome Bump (Austin, Texas: 2012), 463.

[8] Anne-Marie Kitchen-Wheeler, "Visual identification of individual manta ray (Manta alfredi) in the Maldives Islands, Western Indian Ocean," Marine Biology Research 4, 6, no. 4: 351-363, Academic Search Complete, EBSCOhost, (2010), accessed September 27, 2012.

[9] The Little Mermaid, DVD, Directed by Rom Clements, Walt Disney Home Video, 1989.

[10] Peter R. Last et al., Sharks and Rays of Borneo (Collingwood, VIC: Csiro Publishing, 2010), 257.

 

[11] Leighton Taylor et al., Sharks and Rays, (McMahons Point, NSW: Weldon Owen Pty Limited, 1997), 72.

[12] ÒSpirit Animals,Ó 463.