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updated 2/11/17
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"Only
connect! That was the whole of her sermon. Only connect the
prose and the passion, and both will be exalted, and human love
will be seen at its height. Live in fragments no longer.”
E. M. Forster, Howards End (1910),
ch. 22
THE FINAL
PRINT VERSION OF THIS ESSAY WILL BE GRADED
ON THE BASIS OF ITS UNITY,
COHERENCE, AND FLOW, AS WELL AS THE FOLLOWING CRITERIA.
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EVALUATION INSTRUCTIONS
Critiques in CANVAS: to find out whom you are to critique, click on the wheel, but do your actual critique in the form of a reply to that student's post in the Project One blog. As critiques build up, make sure you go back to "reply" to the original entry in the blog for each project instead of replying to replies of others, which causes confusion.
Do NOT just paste your critique in the "Add a comment" box after clicking on the Assignments tab, or after the project author's name in your list of assigned critiques.
Do NOT try to circumvent the whole process by using Google Doc because you need to know which sentences your predecessors have already critiqued in each project.
LOOKING AHEAD: Critiques are normally no more than two-hundred words or so; you earn more, but you earn more doing more critiques rather than by writing longer critiques. To get credit for your critiques you will need to have them in a Word document that you hand in to me: thus you would be wise to start off doing them in such a document and then copy and paste them into the blog "comment" available at the end of each blog entry.
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HERE IS THE BEGINNING OF A SAMPLE CRITIQUE: The critiquer critiques three sentences but only one is required. On the other hand, this is just the beginning of the critique: not shown are the three required final categories: Punctuation, Word Choice, and Coherence, all required categories of critiques.
"Starfish reveal an incredible truth about healing: we must cling to hope in seemingly hopeless circumstances."
Something about this phrasing seems off—how do the starfish reveal truth? Maybe the better word choice would be "find hope in healing". I think also this phrase should be rewritten as "We starfish" so as to keep it in first-person.
"In the end, I must, as exemplified by sea stars' exposure to predators, wholly run towards these risks if confronting them offers any chance of making me a stronger leader, more confident changemaker, more informed thinker, and a more compassionate human being.
I love this sentence, but I just wish it was phrased better. If you want to incorporate the list at the end, you should probably separate this sentence into two phrases otherwise it is quite the mouthful for the reader.
"To spend the next four years consumed by my grades, my organizations, my relationships, my goals and my future is foolish and dull."
After reading several of these lists, I sort of found them off-putting. Using repetition or exhaustive lists can be at times helpful, but I think it gets to be excessive in your essay.
Unity, Coherence, Flow-6 I generally liked the flow of your essay. I think the unity between the parts could be fixed so that the essay is altogether more coherent with better transitions.
Organization and Logical Order of the Prose-5 I wanted to see a better organization of the essay, specifically in the second part. I think if you categorized what you learned from the starfish as your spirit animal, it might make the essay seem more logical.
Specificity and "Concreteness"-7 I think your phrasing and concrete examples really engaged me as a reader. I loved reading the imagery of being underwater and the description of your "limbs." Well done!
Integration of Verbal and Visual Rhetoric-7 I think your incorporation of the images is to be commended. Your captions really connected with what you were talking about in your essay, which helped with unity and clarity.
Proofreading: Typos, Spelling, and Grammar errors-5 I think there are some definite typos and other errors in the essay. Example: "Starfish have taught me that in both effective sea life and effective human life, risk is not to avoided, but instead eagerly welcomed."
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HERE IS A FULL CRITIQUE, a fairly good example, except for numbers to high:
"The uninhabited paradise that was Yellowstone hosted free-roaming elks and pronghorns but most notably lacked the herds of humans."
This sentence stood out as awkwardly phrased to me and made me pause. I half-expected a comma before the "but", so that the sentence would read "...Yellowstone hosted free-roaming elks and pronghorns, but most notably lacked the herds of humans." The switch from talking about Yellowstone "hosting" and then "most notably lacking" is also confusing, and slightly interrupts the flow.
"My closest friend, Abe, loves to tell stories, many I consider to be tall tales."
I think you're missing an "of which" here, so that "many" directly refers to the stories. The sentence would read "My closest friend, Abe, loves to tell stories, many of which I consider to be tall tales."
Unity, coherence, and flow: 6
The essay flows easily, with the exception of a few transitions in the second half. For example, at the beginning of paragraph 8, the sentence "Beyond unity, buffalo are also known to be intractable and independent" sounds a bit forced. This is primarily because of the lack of parallelism between the noun "unity" and the adjectives "intractable and independent". This can be fixed by changing these three words to be the same part of speech.
Organization and Logical Order of the Prose: 7
The essay makes good use of paragraphs, and all the ideas flow very logically. I like how you break down the bison's specific attributes and explain how you can learn from them before going on to talk about how your interaction with the bison should be "two-way".
Specificity and 'Concreteness': 6
I think you integrate facts very well into the second half of your essay, and your portrayal of the animal's POV in the first half is very enjoyable. I would suggest elaborating on your "entrapments and enslavements" (paragraph 8), as that paragraph currently seems a bit vague.
Integration of Verbal and Visual Rhetoric: 7
Nice use of pictures! I especially like the last one, with you standing in the field. I think you integrate verbal and visual rhetoric well in your essay. My only suggestion is to insert a picture of "wallowing", because as I was reading, I was curious as to what that looked like.
Proofreading: Typos, Spelling, and Grammar errors: 6
Overall good proofreading, but I noticed a typo. In paragraph eight, you wrote "I can learn from the ferocious nature of the bison by breaking my owns forms of entrapment and enslavement." Fix that :p
Documentation: 5
You used Roman numerals instead of Arabic numerals, which is a mistake you realized and brought up in class :)
Also, I'm pretty sure that the "footnote numbers should always be inserted after the punctuation", as per this pdf (Links to an external site.) .
Punctuation: 7
The essay exhibits excellent command of punctuation. Good job :)
Word Choice: 5
There are a few noticeable errors in word choice here and there, but your word choice is good overall. In paragraph three, in the sentence that reads "...winter's scarcity evokes more predators", the word "evokes" is misused. "Evoke (Links to an external site.) " (link to definition in Oxford English Dictionary) is a verb used when describing the action of calling something (an idea or an abstract thing) to mind, not into the tangible world. I think the world you're looking for is "provoke", which means "To incite or urge (a person or animal) to an action, state, etc." (Links to an external site.) .
Conciseness: 6
In general, you're very concise and specific when conveying your ideas. I think you tend to restate things unnecessarily sometimes, however. For example, in paragraph 8, your essay reads, "I can learn from the ferocious nature of the bison by breaking my owns [sic] forms of entrapment and enslavement. Early on, our class identified specific objects of our enslavement."
This sounds a little bit repetitive because you refer to your forms of "enslavement" twice, in two separate sentences. This isn't a big issue, but your essay would be more concise if you combined these two sentences, maybe with "my own forms of entrapment and enslavement, some of which we identified early on in class."
Overall: Your essay exhibits good command of language and organizational flow. Just go back and proofread a bit more, and work on conciseness/word choice :)
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BEFORE
you review: read your peer's writing carefully with reference to the criteria
given in this form. ASSIGN THE NUMBER FROM 1 TO 7 THAT
YOU THINK THE INSTRUCTOR WOULD ASSIGN ACCORDING TO THE CRITERIA
BELOW FOR EACH OF THE CATEGORIES for each essay you review. AND, if you can, provide
suggestions for improvement for each of the categories. Remember, your
reviewing will be graded by the instructor. (If you just assign all high numbers to avoid critiquing,
your reviewing grade will be 0.) The number you assign will not become
part of the grade for that student's project. It will help him or her revise
the project for a higher grade.
Your reviewing grade will also depend upon
how well you follow the instructions below, especially on how specific you are. Extra points will be given for citations
of page numbers or section titles in our anthology or the Penguin handbook that will help the author.
First,
You must quote a word, phrase, or sentence of the student's essay that has not been
quoted by a previous respondent and specify why it needs change and how it could be improved. Put this word, phrase, or sentence at the top of your critique so the students don't take th same words for revision.
Then, after you have done this, make specific suggestions that have not been given in previous critiques. Point to particular words, phrases, sentences
and paragraphs that were problematic; give examples of general problems that
you found; be clear about what exactly the problem was; explain why it was
a problem, etc. Extra points will be given for citations
of page numbers in our anthology, supplements to the criteria such as those on word choice and conciseness, the Oxford English Dictionary, etc.
Because you can not just repeat what others have said in their critiques, time management is important. The more you procrastinate the more difficult it will be to say something not already said in previous critiques and the fewer points you will earn.
Responses that consist solely of generic
phrases, such as "Good Job"; that do not reveal detailed knowledge
of the project; will not be acceptable. You must respond in sufficient detail
to reveal that you have read the project closely. Let the author of the writing
know how it affected you as a reader, where you were pleased, where you got
confused, where irritated, etc. In general, evaluate the other students'
writing as works of art. If each sample of writing were, say, a statue, which
little as well as big flaws should be corrected?
Second,
make your comments helpful. The goal is not to punish the writer for making
mistakes. Instead your goal is to help the writer improve his or her paper.
You should point out problems where they occur. But don't stop there. Explain
why they are problems and give some clear advice on how to fix the problems.
Also keep
your tone professional. No personal attacks. Everyone
makes mistakes. Everyone can improve their writing.
When you are finally finished reviewing, to
get credit for your work, if you have not already done so, print out your responses to others by cutting and
pasting them into a Word document, not by printing out each page individually
from the screen. Turn in the Word document to me.
OUR TEN
CRITERIA
A. MEETING THE REQUIREMENTS:
[1] at least four-hundred words from the point of view of the animal
[2] at least seven-hundred words devoted to what you learned from the animal
[3] must include
multimedia (at least two images); to include video supply an image and the link to YouTube or whatever
[4] must end with two accurate word counts: one with and one without quotations. The one without quotations must be at least 1400
words
[5] must include at least two of the required citations (for this version the citations will be endnotes; for the hard copy they must be footnotes.) the required quotations:
[5a] ONE from the anthology
sections of Animal Speak; and/or Spirit Animals and/or “Power Animals in Bless
Me Ultima, Harry Potter, and Black Elk Speaks: A Few Examples”
and/or “Totemism and Power Animals, some definitions” OR (FOR DOUBLE POINTS) from a scientific account of your animal (may be from the internet).
[5b] AND ONE from a library book
not available in any way on the internet. You may choose one of the books
on reserve listed below. (Needless to say, the quote from the reserve book can not
be from pages reproduced in our course anthology. )
1.
UNITY,
COHERENCE, AND FLOW
worth
12%
How
you say something affects what you say because the medium IS the
message, form and content are inseparable. (See
your course anthology, especially: “COMPOSITION”; "COHERENCE,
sign of an ‘A’ paper"; "TRANSITIONAL EXPRESSIONS"; "Writing
Well is Thinking Well"; and "Undergrad Writing Center.")
Hence,
grades for unity include subtracting for all errors and infelicities
in the prose that stop the flow and make the reader
pause, however briefly, to try to figure out what you are
trying to say. Hence,
all
projects must have logical transitions between paragraphs and sentences
as well as structural unity and progression of thought throughout.
Failures
of connection between paragraphs and sentences in the hard copy
will be indicated by an inverted V (indicating something needs
to be inserted) and points subtracted accordingly.
In
addition to identifying every place in the prose that makes you pause, however
briefly, consider these questions.
-
Did
the writing flow smoothly so you could follow the main argument?
-
Can
you find the main points?
-
Are
the transitions from one point to the next harsh, or do they transition naturally?
-
Is
the order developed and sustained within and across paragraphs using transitional
devices?
-
Is
the introduction inviting?
-
Is
the conclusion satisfying?
-
Do
paragraphs deal with one subject?
-
RATINGS
7. Perfect flow,
with evident or subtle
transitions wherever needed.
6. Very good: almost
perfect flow with evidence
of transitions.
5. Good: fairly
good flow, with some evidence of transitions, with perhaps one obvious
interruption.
4. Average: average
flow with some interruptions,
with or without attempts at transitions.
3. Poor: poor flow,
with quite a few interruptions, with or without attempts at transitions.
2. Very poor: Minimal
control, with few if any attempts at transitions,
that is, very poor flow, with many interruptions.
1. Disastrous: No
apparent control, no attempt at transitions in the prose,
that is, almost no flow.
2. Organization
and Logical Order of the Prose,
worth
12%
Is
the organization clear from the start and a logical order of sequence maintained?
7. Apparently perfect
organization and logical order.
6. Very good: Effective
organization and fairly logical order.
5. Good: Functional
organization and fairly logical order.
4. Average: Consistent
organization and some logical order, with some interruptions.
3. Poor : Confused
arrangement and inconsistent logical order, with quite a
few interruptions.
2. Very poor: Minimal
control and little logical order, with many interruptions.
1. Disastrous: No
apparent control, no logical order, no apparent organization.
3.
Specificity and "Concreteness": Examples, Verbal
Images, Metaphors, Similes,
Evidence,
Supporting Details
worth
12%
Does
the essay move easily between general and specific? Are claims
supported by specific, detailed evidence and/or examples? Does concrete language
anchor the essay, engaging the senses, and keeping it from becoming too
vague? Are the basic stories
and/or emotions behind the essay shown or demonstrated in personal, specific,
concrete examples, images, metaphors, similes, and/or supporting sensory
details that enable us to experience the world through another’s perspective?
See "Freshness" and the section on images and metaphors in
the article, "Diction and Conciseness," in your anthology.
7. Excellent: Approaches
the quality of a professional, perhaps even a great writer. The essay moves
easily between general and specific. All claims are supported by specific,
detailed evidence and/or examples. Concrete language anchors the essay, engages
the five senses, and keeps it from becoming too vague. Instead of vague abstractions
the basic stories and/or emotions behind the essay are shown or demonstrated
in personal, specific, concrete examples, images, metaphors, similes, and/or
supporting sensory details that enable us to experience the world through
another’s perspective.
6. Very Good: Approaches the quality
of an excellent amateur writer. The essay moves fairly easily between general
and specific. Almost all claims are supported by specific, detailed evidence
and/or examples. Concrete language usually anchors the essay, engages the
five senses, and keeps it from becoming too vague. Instead of vague abstractions
the basic stories and/or emotions behind the essay are often shown or demonstrated
in personal, specific, concrete examples, images, metaphors, similes, and/or
supporting sensory details that enable us to experience the world through
another’s perspective.
5. Good: Approaches the quality
of an excellent college writer. Most of the time, the essay moves fairly
easily between general and specific. All but two or three claims are supported
by specific, detailed evidence and/or examples. Concrete language anchors
most of the essay, engages the five senses, and keeps it from becoming too
vague. Instead of vague abstractions the basic stories and/or emotions behind
the essay are at times shown or demonstrated in personal, specific, concrete
examples, images, metaphors, similes, and/or supporting sensory details that
enable us to experience the world through another’s perspective.
4. Average:
Approaches the quality of an excellent high school writer. Some of the time,
the essay moves fairly easily between general and specific. All but two or
three claims are supported by specific, detailed evidence and/or examples.
Concrete language anchors some of the essay, engages the five senses, and
keeps it from becoming too vague. Once or twice instead of vague abstractions
the basic stories and/or emotions behind the essay are at times shown or
demonstrated in personal, specific, concrete examples, images, metaphors,
similes, and/or supporting sensory details that enable us to experience the
world through another’s perspective.
3. Poor: Approaches the quality
of a high school writer. The essay rarely moves easily between general and
specific. Most of the claims are not supported by specific, detailed evidence
and/or examples. Concrete language anchors a little of the essay but does
not keep it from becoming too vague at times. Vague abstractions abound,
hiding the basic stories and/or emotions behind the essay. There is little
that enables us to experience the world through another’s perspective.
2.
Very Poor: Approaches the quality of a functional illiterate. The essay does
not move between general and specific. The claims are not supported by specific,
detailed evidence and/or examples. There is no concrete language. Vague abstractions
abound, hiding the basic stories and/or emotions behind the essay, if there
are any. There is nothing that enables us to experience the world through
another’s perspective.
1. Disastrous: The language is
so vague that it is apparent that the writer, as well as the reader, doesn’t
know what s/he is talking about.
4.
Integration
of Verbal and Visual Rhetoric,
worth
8%
-
IS THE ORGANIZATION OF THE VISUAL AND
VERBAL RHETORIC CLEAR?
-
ARE THE
IMAGES/MULTIMEDIA ESSENTIAL TO THE ESSAY OR NOT?
-
ARE THE
IMAGES/MULTIMEDIA DISCUSSED, OR AT LEAST REFERRED TO, IN THE TEXT?
-
ARE THE
IMAGES/MULTIMEDIA PLACED NEXT TO THE WORDS THAT CONNECT TO THEM?
7. Excellent:
Sophisticated arrangement of VERBAL AND MULTIMEDIA. MULTIMEDIA includes
not only still images but also movies, animated images, sound, Flash, or
other special effects, but all are essential to the essay. All are placed
in the text right next to the words that discuss or refer to them. The words
clearly connect the multimedia to the argument and keep the flow of the prose
as well as the multimedia flowing well.
6. Very good: Effective
arrangement of VERBAL AND VISUAL/MULTIMEDIA. MULTIMEDIA includes
not only still images but at least one other media, but all are essential
to the essay. All are placed in the text right next to the words that discuss
or refer to them. The words connect the multimedia to the argument
fairly well and sustain the flow of the prose.
5. Good: Functional
arrangement of WORDS AND PICTURES. All images are placed in the text right
next to the words that discuss or refer to them. The words connect the
images to the argument fairly well.
4. Average: Consistent
arrangement of WORDS AND PICTURES. Allor all but one of images are placed
in the text right next to the words that discuss or refer to them. The
words connect the images to the argument somewhat.
3. Poor : Confused
or inconsistent arrangement of WORDS AND PICTURES. Images are not usually
placed in the text right next to the words that discuss or refer to them.
2. Very poor: Minimal
control of PICTURES in relation to the rest of the essay. Images are not
usually discussed in the text.
1. Disastrous: No
apparent logic to the arrangement of VERBAL AND VISUAL/MULTIMEDIA or no
VISUAL/MULTIMEDIA.
5.Proofreading: Typos,
Spelling, and Grammar errors,
[including the need to spell out any number than can be written in one or two words]
worth
8%
Has the
author re-read the essay carefully enough to catch basic proofreading errors,
such as typos and missing words?
Are there
any grammatical or spelling errors?
7 There
are no apparent grammar, spelling, or proofreading errors.
6 There
are one or two minor errors, but
the prose flows fairly well.
5 There
are two or three minor errors, but the
prose moves along well enough.
4 There
are a number of errors that force the reader
to hesitate, however briefly, to figure out what the writer intended. There
is some doubt as to how much of the assigned reading on spellchecks,
and proofreading has been read or understood. In as much as half of the essay
the flow would benefit from better proofreading.
3 Apparently
not much of the assigned reading on spellchecks and proofreading
has been read or understood, forcing the reader often
to hesitate, however briefly, to figure out what the writer intended. In
as much as two-thirds of the essay the flow would benefit from better proofreading.
2. The
author appears often unaware of the appropriate use of grammar, spellchecks,and
proofreading, and most of the flow of the essay suffers as a result.
1. The
proofreading, and/or spelling, and/or grammar is atrocious and the essay
does not flow at all.
6.
Documentation,
worth
6%
Has
the author revealed the sources of his images and quotations? Has the author
provided complete information about these sources? Has the author followed
the University of Chicago footnote system* in each and every detail? (In
the website version these will be endnotes, but in the hard copy they must
be footnotes.)
7. All
the images and quotations are fully documented perfectly according to the
University of Chicago documentation system.
6 All
the images and quotations are documented according to the
University of Chicago documentation system, but there
are one or two minor errors.
5 All
the images and quotations are documented according to the
University of Chicago documentation system, but there
are two or three minor errors.
4 Not all
the images and quotations are documented according to the
University of Chicago documentation system. There is some doubt as to how
much of the reading in the handbook on the
University of Chicago documentation system has
been read or understood. A third or so of the images and/or quotations need
better documentation.
3 Apparently
not much of reading in the handbook on the
University of Chicago documentation system has been read or understood, forcing
the reader often to hesitate, however briefly, to figure out what the writer's
sources are. Most of the images and/or quotations need
better documentation.
2. The
author appears unaware of
the University of Chicago documentation system.
1. The
author appears unaware of
the need for documentation.
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DOCUMENTATION NEEDED FOR STUDENT HONOR CODE OF CONDUCT:
Subchapter 11–400. Prohibited Conduct
Sec. 11–401. Conduct Expected of Students
As stated in subsection 11–101(a), the University's expectations for conduct are grounded in the University Code of Conduct and the Student Honor Code. While subchapter 11–400 outlines specific examples of prohibited conduct, the University expects from its students a higher standard of conduct than the minimum needed to avoid discipline.
Sec. 11–402. Academic Dishonesty
-
The dean of students or a faculty member may initiate disciplinary proceedings under subchapter 11–500 against a student accused of academic dishonesty.
-
"Academic dishonesty" or "scholastic dishonesty" includes, but is not limited to, cheating, plagiarism, collusion, falsifying academic records, misrepresenting facts, and any act designed to give unfair academic advantage to the student (such as, but not limited to, submission of essentially the same written assignment for two es or courses without the prior permission of the instructor), or the attempt to commit such an act.
-
"Cheating" includes, but is not limited to,
-
copying from another student's test, paper, project, or other assignment;
-
failing to comply with instructions given by the person administering a test, project, or other assignment, or given in conjunction with the completion of course requirements;
-
using or possessing materials that are not authorized by the person giving the test, project, or other assignment, including but not limited to notes, calculators, electronic devices, and specifically designed "crib notes"; the presence of textbooks constitutes a violation only if they have been specifically prohibited by the person administering the test;
-
providing aid or assistance to or receiving aid or assistance from another student or individual, without authority, in conjunction with a test, project, or other assignment;
-
discussing or providing information about the contents of a test with another student who will take the test;
-
capturing or divulging the contents of a test or other assignment when the instructor has not given permission for students to keep or distribute such information;
-
substituting for another person or permitting another person to substitute for oneself to take a , a test, or any -related assignment;
-
using, buying, stealing, transporting, soliciting, or coercing another person to obtain answers to or information about an administered test, project, or other assignment;
-
falsifying research data, laboratory reports, other academic work offered for credit, or work done in conjunction with the completion of course or degree requirements;
-
taking, keeping, misplacing, or damaging the property of the University, or of another, if the student knows or reasonably should know that an unfair academic advantage would be gained by such conduct; or altering a test paper, project, or other assignment to gain an academic advantage.
-
"Plagiarism" includes, but is not limited to, the appropriation of, buying, receiving as a gift, or obtaining by any means material that is attributable in whole or in part to another source without any indication of the original source, including words, ideas, illustrations, structure, computer code, and other expression or media, and presenting that material as one's own academic work being offered for credit or in conjunction with a program course or degree requirements.
-
"Collusion" includes, but is not limited to, unauthorized collaboration with another person in preparing academic assignments offered for credit, and collaboration with another person to commit a violation of any section of the rules on academic dishonesty.
-
"Misrepresenting facts for academic advantage" to the University or an agent of the University or The University of Texas System includes, but is not limited to, providing false grades or résumés; providing false or misleading information in an effort to receive a postponement or an extension on a test, quiz, or other assignment for the purpose of obtaining an academic or financial benefit for oneself or another individual; and providing false or misleading information in an effort to injure another student academically or financially.
-
===========================================================================
DOCUMENTATION ALSO NEEDED FOR CITIZENSHIP AND VOTING. Take the example of the kind of Fake News that influenced the last election:
===========================================================================
DOCUMENTATION IS ALSO NEEDED FOR PARTICIPATION IN SCHOLARLY DISCUSSION:
ARE
FOOTNOTES REQUIRED? YES. DOCUMENTATION IS REQUIRED: All
MEDIA AND QUOTATIONS ARE TO BE FOOTNOTED. "FOOTNOTES" MEAN THEN NOTES APPEAR AT THE BOTTOM OF EACH PAGE NOT AS NOTES AT THE END OF THE DOCUMENT
(UNLESS IT IS A WEB VERSION OF THE DOCUMENT; (If you use WORD, When you save the project as a webpage, the footnotes become endnotes.))
ALL FOOTNOTE NUMBERS SHOULD BE SEQUENTIAL AND NOT REPEATED. Footnote
numbers should NOT be put in parentheses, should be set
above the line, and follow any punctuation marks except a dash.
The footnotes
for the pictures should supply the label or caption of the image and the complete source, that
is, if the image is from the internet, the U.R.L., or the full bibliographic information, OR if it is from a book, including the page
number. The
footnotes for the quotes should indicate clearly who is speaking in
the passage and supply the complete source, that is, the URL and date accessed, if from the internet, or the
full bibliographic information, if a print source, including the page number.*
WHAT STYLE OF FOOTNOTE IS REQUIRED? THE U OF CHICAGO FOOTNOTE METHOD WITHOUT BIBLIOGRAPHY.
SPECIFICALLY, I WANT THE VERSION WITHOUT BIBLIOGRAPHY: This University of Chicago footnote system requires complete bibliographical
information at the bottom of the page. This way there is no need for
a list of works cited or a bibliography at the end.
Concerning
punctuation of quotes: When
you quote within a quote remember to use italics or single quotation
marks to set off the actual quotation from the rest of the words ascribed
to the speaker.
*YOU MUST QUOTE AND
CITE THE TEXT OF AT LEAST ONE ACTUAL, PRINTED BOOK NOT FOUND IN ANY
WAY ON THE INTERNET, nor on our list of required books. IN THAT CASE ESPECIALLY YOU MUST MAKE SURE TO INCLUDE THE PAGE NUMBER OF THE CITATION. IF THE BOOK IS NOT IN OUR LIBRARY, PLEASE EXPLAIN HOW YOU OBTAINED IT.
some examples of sections from the style manual:
14.20Sequencing of note numbers and symbols Notes, whether footnotes or endnotes, should be numbered consecutively, beginning with 1, throughout each article
14.39Footnotes—pros and cons Readers of scholarly printed works usually prefer footnotes for ease of reference. This is especially true where the notes are closely integrated into the text and make interesting reading, or if immediate knowledge of the sources is essential to readers.
13.65Frequent reference to a single source cited in a noteIn a work containing notes, the full citation of a source may be given in a note at first mention, with subsequent citations made parenthetically in the text. This method is especially suited to literary studies that use frequent quotations from a single source. In a study of Much Ado about Nothing, for example, the note would list the edition and include wording such as “Text references are to act, scene, and line of this edition.” A parenthetical reference to act 3, scene 4, lines 46–47, would then appear as in the example below. In references to a work of fiction, page numbers alone may be given.“Ye light o’ love with your heels! then, if your husband have stables enough, you’ll see he shall lack no barns,” says Beatrice (3.4.46–47).
14.14Notes In the system favored by many writers in the humanities, bibliographic citations are provided in notes,...... The notes, whether footnotes or endnotes, are usually numbered and correspond to superscripted note reference numbers in the text ….. In works with no bibliography, full details must be given in a note at first mention of any work cited; subsequent citations need only include a short form. Full citation in a note:]
Newton N. Minow and Craig L. LaMay, Inside the Presidential Debates: Their Improbable Past and Promising Future (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2008), 24–25.
-
CHAPTER IN AN EDITED BOOK When citing a chapter or similar part of an edited book, include the chapter author; the chapter title, in quotation marks; and the editor. Precede the title of the book with in.
Glenn Gould, “Streisand as Schwarzkopf,” in The Glenn Gould Reader, ed. Tim Page (New York: Vintage, 1984), 310
Citations of journals include the volume and issue number and date of publication. The volume number follows the italicized journal title in roman and with no intervening punctuation. A specific page reference is included in the notes; the page range for an article is [ALSO included IF THERE IS NO] bibliography. In the full citation, page numbers are preceded by a colon.
89. Walter Blair, “Americanized Comic Braggarts,” Critical Inquiry 4, no. 2 (1977): 331–32.
*See your anthology for more on all of these criteria, including the University of Chicago documentation system. In addition, you will find the Chicago Manual of Online in any of three places on the UT Libraries website:
1. On the lists of Databases:
2. On the list of Manual Quick Guides: http://www.lib.utexas.edu/refsites/ _manuals.html (You can navigate from the CMOS Quick Guide to the full guide.)
3. From Catalog entries for any of the copies of the 15th or 16th edition of the Chicago Manual of ; use the Find It @ UT button to search for the online version.
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7.
Punctuation,
worth
12%
Has the
author used punctuation as the traffic signals of the language: telling
us to when to slow down, what to notice, when to detour, when to stop?
Has the author used punctuation to guide you through the essay without
hesitating or stumbling (and thus making you retrace your steps and read
a sentence again)? Has the author used punctuation the way a composer uses
musical notation to show you how to perform the prose in your mind?
Has the
author read and understood the relevant readings in the course anthology
(Eats, Shoots, and Leaves) and handbook on punctuation, such as
the following? Are the paired bracketing devices - - parentheses, dashes,
quotation marks, appositives (paired commas) - -complete? Has the author
avoided comma splices? Does the author make good use of colons and semicolons?
Does the author know how to use hyphens with compound adjectives and numbers?
Does the author know when to use quotation marks and how they work with
other forms of punctuation? Does the author know when to use ellipses and
when to use brackets instead of parentheses? Has the
author read and understand the sections on punctuation in the anthology
and in the Penguin handbook covering not only
the issues above but also periods, apostrophes, exclamation points, slashes,
etc. ?
7 The
author has used punctuation like a great composer uses musical notation
and as a result the prose flows beautifully. The punctuation appears to
be perfect.
6 The
punctuation guides the reader effectively, and there are no obvious moments
of hesitation or stumbling as a result, but the punctuation could probably
work even better if revised.
5 The
punctuation is generally effective, but there are one or two places where
it could be changed, added, or removed to improve the flow of the essay.
4 There
is some doubt as to how much of the assigned reading on punctuation has
been read or understood. In as much as half of the essay the flow would
benefit from changing, adding, or removing punctuation.
3 .Not
much of the assigned reading on punctuation has been read or understood.
In as much as two-thirds of the essay the flow would benefit from changing,
adding, or removing punctuation.
2. The
author appears unaware of the appropriate use of many modes of punctuation,
and most of the flow of the essay suffers as a result.
1. The
punctuation is atrocious and the essay does not flow at all.
Where
can I find out more? See your course anthology:" Eats, Shoots, and Leaves:
commas, semicolons "
8.
Word choice,
worth
15%
Paris Review: How
much rewriting do you do?
Hemingway: It
depends. I rewrote the ending to A Farewell To Arms, the last page
of it, thirty-nine times before I was satisfied.
Paris Review: Was there some
technical problem there? What was it that stumped you?
Hemingway: Getting
the words right
Is the
best word in the best place throughout this essay? How many words do not
seem to be the very best possible choices? Has the author been as specific
as possible? Has the author used examples and “word pictures” as needed,
that is, “illustrations, analogies, vivid quotations, metaphors, similes”
(Trimble 76)? Does the prose delight the reader with wit, fresh phrases,
new insights, fresh images? Has the reader avoided empty abstractions?
7 The
diction is fresh, witty, and very specific.
You cannot see anywhere that it could possibly be improved.
6
You cannot see how the diction might be easily improved, but it is
not very witty, fresh, or striking.
5 The diction is first-rate but there are one or two words that could be
replaced with better ones.
4 The
diction is good but there are a number of words and/or one or two sections
that might be improved by revision.
3. The diction is adequate but the author does not appear to have taken
the time to revise for word choice.
2. The diction is mediocre, boring, at times vague: lots of useless repetition,
empty abstractions, passive voice, needlessly protracted sentences, empty
intensifiers, expletives and impersonal constructions like “there is” and
“it is.”
1. The word choice is so poor that at times it is difficult to tell exactly
what the author is trying to say.
Where
can I find out more? See your course anthology:"THE OXFORD ENGLISH
DICTIONARY, OXFORD REFERENCE ONLINE"; "Diction
and Conciseness"
9.
Conciseness,
worth
15 %
Is the
author diluting the force of his message by using too many words? Or is the
author using only as many words as are absolutely necessary, avoiding repetition,
redundance, wordiness, unnecessary modifiers, empty intensifiers, unnecessarily
long and convoluted sentences?
7. Succinct,
powerful prose, undiluted by unnecessary verbiage.
6. Economical
prose. No section, no word choice, could be easily revised for conciseness.
5. Fairly
concise prose, but various words if not sections suggest there is some redundance
or repetition that could cut to increase the conciseness.
4. Adequate
prose but some repetition, redundance, wordiness, unnecessary modifiers,
empty intensifiers, or unnecessarily long and convoluted sentences and thus
about a third of the essaywould benefit clearly from cutting the waste.
3. About
half of the essay needs excision of repetition, redundance, wordiness, unnecessary
modifiers, empty intensifiers, or unnecessarily long and convoluted sentences.
2. Essay
as a whole needs excision of repetition, redundance, wordiness, unnecessary
modifiers, empty intensifiers, or unnecessarily long and convoluted sentences.
1. The excess verbiage is so great that some of the meaning of the essay
is obscured.
Where
can I find out more? See below and your course anthology:"Diction
and Concisenes"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LOOKING AHEAD:
------------------------------------
ADVICE FOR ACHIEVING
BETTER CONCISENESS
Adapted from John Trimble’s Writing with
by Adam Vramescu
“Most of us write as if we’re paid a dime a word” (53).
HE RESULT IS vague writing (lots of passive voice, needlessly protracted
sentences, empty intensifiers, expletives and impersonal constructions
like “there is” and “it is”)
Conciseness is saying only as much as you mean to say, avoiding
wordiness or repetition.
-----------------------------------
Tests
for conciseness:
1. Have you repeated a word a number of times? Could you find synonyms?
Cut the word in some instances? Combine sentences so you don’t have to
use the word?
2. Have you repeated an idea? Occasionally we write two sentences
in a row that say essentially the same thing. Make sure each sentence answers
a question posed by the preceding one rather than simply restating it.
-----------------------------------
Tip: Verbs are your best tool to say exactly what you mean, so
have you used the clearest (not the fanciest) verb possible?
Sometimes clear verbs already lurk in disguise as nouns.
Ex: “Hamlet’s feeling for his father’s death is grievance.”
Find the lurking verb… How about grievance? Grievance = grieve.
So… “Hamlet grieves his father’s death.” Much simpler!
Eliminating Unnecessary Modifiers (or, the road to Hell is paved with
adverbs)
Are you using specific words? What do the following words mean?: very,
definitely, extremely, truly, ultimately, honestly, etc. The answer: not
a whole lot.
Instead of “the desert is very hot,” why not “the desert is scorching”?
Instead of “I ate the pie quickly,” why not “I devoured the pie”?
Empty intensifiers actually dull the effect of the word! To a reader,
“very hot” doesn’t really mean “more than regular-hot.” It reads more like
“very zzzzzzzzz…” So remember to use descriptive language! It’s
more precise and more fun to use.
Myth: Longer sentences are more intelligent than shorter ones. The
truth is that sentences don’t have brains and, as such, can’t be intelligent.
But in seriousness, let’s think about this: Are long sentences more refined
than shorter sentences? We actually think in longer phrases—Trimble calls
them “ready-made.” He goes on to say that since these phrases have “the
added attraction of sounding elegant,” they don’t seem intuitively bad.
But!—“This habit of thinking in prefab phrases slowly dulls our sensitivity
to words as words” (53). So what’s the harm? Try these bad boys of diction: Wordiness, repetition, cliché.
-
Usually, you can use the fewest and simplest words possible.
Fact #1: There’s a shorter way to say it. Keep an eye on your connecting
words, especially. Prepositions, conjunctions, and the like. They’re usually
hiding something.
-
Sometimes they’re symptomatic, as in this case: “He fought with great
honor.” Nothing bad about the word with, itself. But it’s burying an
adjective, “honorably.” So why not “He fought honorably”? Incidentally,
the word “great” wasn’t a loss to be mourned, if you remember the section
on empty intensifiers from the “Saying What You Mean” handout.
-
Sometimes they’re just longer than they need to be. Look at these pairs: to/in
order to, if/in the event that. Any loss in meaning by trimming
the fat? (If this seems petty to you, remember that we’re developing
a bag of tricks to deal with wordiness; occasionally you’ll prefer
“in order to” for the flow of the sentence, but make sure you’re not
just doing this because you want to sound more elegant. An ostrich
in a tutu might also think she’s elegant.)
Here’s some typical sentence protraction, from WWS: “His bold and
brash temper has been replaced by a careful and prudent manner.” Where’s
the repetition there? Check the whopping four adjectives. The sentence
was “His impetuosity has been replaced by prudence,” still not a gem but
not a clunker.