I stood at the mouth of my
den and watched. The fresh and cool air filling my lungs only heightened my
sense of hunger. How long has it been since my last feeding? One moon? Two?
There is no way to know for sureÉ My belly felt hollow, yet my stomach churned
trying to remember what it was like to be full. I saw the wolf, but he didnÕt
see me. I saw the deer, but she didnÕt see me either.
The wolf hid in the tall
grass, stalking, following each and everyone one of the deerÕs moves. The deer
grazed with itÕs young by her side, unaware. Her doe eyes focused solely on the
grass, chopping leisurely. Her body acted as a magnet, keeping her fawn nearby,
in what she thought was safety.
All at once, the energy
shifted. The calm of the plains was replaced by a swift fury. The wolfÕs paws
pounded the dry, thirsty ground leaving dust clouds in his wake. The deer
alerted and began to take large pouncing strides, but it was no use. The wolf
darted towards the fawn, determined. His mouth opened slightly in anticipation.
The wolfÕs sharp teeth jutted out from his jaw as he sprinted. The fawn
struggled behind his mother. The first rule of the plain is ÒDonÕt look backÓ,
we learned this as kits, most animals do. The fawn,
perhaps too young or too ignorant broke this simple rule. His thin neck whipped
around every four strides. I could feel the rhythm of the run slowing and the
pulse of fear settling in.
We made eye contact as the
wolfÕs incisors sunk deep into his hind. His gaze reminded me of my brotherÕs,
when he was stolen by a hawk in our youth. All four of
us sat and watched as he was carried away. His eyes, just like the fawnÕs, seemed blank, as though the rush of fear paralyzed
them.
In this moment, the wolf
was more alive than any of us. The fawnÕs body fell to the ground, and the wolf
placed a paw on his thigh. He then proceeded to rip through the young ones
flesh. Warm blood trickled down his mouth, staining his teeth and settling into
his scruff. The wolf scarfed down the meat of the leg and moved to the stomach.
The fawnÕs bloated belly was popped in one bite and the wolf slurped up his
intestines. You could tell he was content, but his body was still tense with
purpose. He paused to look at the horizon and then made haste toward the
sunrise.
Even though the fawn, in
its death, had evoked memories of the past, memories of my kin and my
childhood, I donÕt regret what happened next. If there is anything I
learned from my brothers death it is that wallowing in guilt and fear will not
get you anywhere. Everyone dies; itÕs the simplest fact of all. There is
no way to determine the time or place of your death, so you must trudge
forwardÉ Never looking back.
I trotted out from my den
and took a second to further scope out the scene. The land was clear. The only
animal to be seen was the fawnÕs mother, but she posed no threat to me. I
scampered over to the carrion, still warm with life, and examined it. I nudged
my head into the slum where his stomach used to be and pushed forward towards
his sternum. There was a loud cracking noise and I quickly surfaced. Using my
paw as an aide to my mouth, I dug into his chest and ripped out his heart.
Fright nipped me and I dropped it on the earth. I could feel the echo of his
heart, the rhythm of his life pounding in my mouth. I swallowed that feeling,
took the heart and drug it back to the den. Once I had devoured the heart, I
curled up over the crimson stained ground and fell asleep.
The next evening I woke up
to the sound of a feathers and the smell of fear. The noise seemed to coming
from right out side my den. I sprung up, placed my front paws square in front
of me and let my weight fall back. I closed my eyes as my head collapsed
between my legs lingering in a half sleep. I shifted my weight back and became
balanced. Perking my ears, I drifted towards the opening of the den. There was
the smell of fear, but also something else, something I couldnÕt pin point. It
was foreign. The bird looked confinedÉ. an easy target. I lunged at it, body
tensed and mouth ready, but my landing was off. Instead of earth under my paws
I felt something cold and hard. I heard a slam; confused I swiftly turned
around and headed for my den. My head slammed into the same cold, hard my paws
meet earlier. I could see my den, the blood blemished floor, but couldnÕt make
it back. I pawed profusely at the obstruction, but it was no use. I
pushed my nose into a corner and settled down, my straining eyes still holding
the den in view. I whimpered as they carried away.
My life is very different
now. I have no reason to dig, but I still do. I no longer have a reason to
hunt, but that doesnÕt stop me. My person has given me all I could ask for. She
feeds me, she provides me shelter, and she nurtures me. I donÕt think its guilt
that keeps her doing these things. You can tell she was sad to extract me from
my homeland, but she genuinely cares for me. Her smile and gentle touch
reassure me that I am here for a purpose. I am not the only fox here. There is
another. Our person calls him Kajika[I]. I am called Nadie[II].
There has been a large
population decline in swift foxes over the years. ÒHistorically, the swift
foxÕs range extended from central Alberta, Canada, southward through the Great
Plains to west-central Texas. By 1978, the species was declared extirpated in
Canada, and by 1990, it was gone from 90 percent of its historic U.S. range.Ó[III] Our mission is to reverse
this trend and to revitalize the species, and hopefully Nadie and Kajika can
help.
Nadie came to our
endangered animal center when she was about four years old. She and Kajika were
our first swift foxes at the shelter. I think they have adapted pretty well,
Nadie especially. I have formed a strong bond with her.
I remember my grandfather
talking about his spirit guide when I was six. He said that the bear had helped
him through many adversities. As he spoke, I recall feeling perplexed by the
notion. How? I wondered. How can an animal guide you? How can you communicate
with a bear?
Living on the reservation
is odd. I feel both strongly tied to the Sioux tribe, but also disconnected, as
though I merely honor the past and bother not to live the culture. IÕve lived
in the Fort Peck Reservation[IV] in eastern Montana my
entire life. ItÕs different than it was, or so IÕve heard. We have
convenient stores and cell phones nowÉ. Most of the culture is but a memory, a
sort of legend that we play out at festivals or holidays. It wasnÕt until I
began working on the Swift Fox conservation project that I felt deeply
connected to my roots and the world around me.
Nadie has taught me so much in the last few months. She speaks
to me through her actions. So much of her, I now sees in myself. The thing that
amazes me most about the fox is the balance she creates. She is
both persistent and patient, fierce and playful, outgoing and aloof. Her
instincts guide her gracefully through situations of strife and with her
intuition she can sense what is to come.
According to Steven
Farmer, the author of ÒPower Animals: How to connect with your Animal Spirit
GuideÓ the foxÕs slyness that I seem to identify with comes out of having to
navigate a Òsignificant traumaÓ[V] in my early years. Although I wouldnÕt describe my childhood
has ÒtraumaticÓ, certain circumstances made me grow up faster than the average kid . Farmer says that this slyness is evolving into a Òwily
instinctual intelligence and very sharpened sensesÓ as I age and progress past
the trauma. I hold this to be true. As each day passes, it is more and more
apparent that I make every decision based on observations. In social situation,
especially when thrown into a new group, I am first quite. I listen, observe,
follow, then match the auras around me. IÕve always
found this balance to be important.
The swift fox teaches me
to use my traits correctly and with intention. Shape shifting allows her to
easily adapt, Òattracting other with [her] charm and intuitively sensing how to
actÓ. But she is not always social. She can easily drift into the
background camouflaging herself, able to Òobserve unseen, taking it all in and
keeping it to herselfÓ[VI]. Using the fox as my power animal I can adapt and portray
myself Ò as whoever [I] need to be in a given interactionÓ. I learn to fit in,
not out of desperation or desire to be accepted, but because it makes others comfortable
and I Òtake an active intreset in the feelings of
those aroundÓ [VII] me.
I am proud to have the
Swift Fox as my guide. IÕm thankful to Nadie for helping me Òto recognize
subtle things in lifeÓ[VIII] and guiding me to my spirit animal. Her keen eyesight
reveals how I can potential see beyond the present situation, and use reason
based on my own observations to solve problems. With her guidance IÕm learning
that actions speak louder than words and listening is far more important than
words.
Word Count: 1,658 Word
Count Without Quotes: 1,570
[I] Kajika is a Mesquaki Indian name for Òwalks without soundÓ
"Fox Names." War
Paths 2 Peace Pipes. Accessed September 30, 2014. http://www.warpaths2peacepipes.com/native-american-indian-names/fox-names.htm.
[II] Nadie is a Mesquaki Indian name for ÒwiseÓ
"Fox Names." War
Paths 2 Peace Pipes. Accessed September 30, 2014. http://www.warpaths2peacepipes.com/native-american-indian-names/fox-names.htm .
[III] "Swift Fox." Endangered Wolf Center. Accessed October
1, 2014. http://www.endangeredwolfcenter.org/educational-resources/swift-fox/# .
[IV] "Basic Facts About Swift Foxes." Defenders
of Wildlife. Accessed October 1, 2014. http://www.defenders.org/swift-fox/basic-facts .
[V] Farmer, Steven. Power Animals: How to Connect with Your
Animal Spirit Guide. Carlsbad, Calif.: Hay House, 2004.
[VI] "The Fox." Power Animals Unleashed.
Accessed October 1, 2014.
http://www.poweranimalsunleashed.com/power_animal_013fox.htm.
[VII] "Fox - A Message from One of Our Spirit Animals." Spirit Animal Totems. Accessed October 1, 2014.
http://spirit-animals.com/fox/.
[VIII] "SPIRIT GUIDES - Part II." Manataka American Indian Council.
Accessed September 30, 2014. http://www.manataka.org/page236.html .
Media Citations
1.
Swift Fox on the Plain:http://esrd.alberta.ca/fish-wildlife/wild-species/mammals/wild-dogs/images/GFX-Swift-Fox-01.jpg
2.
Wolf Running: http://www.iyufera.com/data/photos/708_1wolf_female.jpg
3.
Caged Swift Fox: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-b8wb59YvhOo/U6mu29_np3I/AAAAAAAABQc/hkJswX_gHvU/s1600/10501281_10100961684665012_964369054_n.jpg
4.
Section Shifter - http://thegraphicsfairy.com/wp-content/uploads/blogger/-LwnQikLmB-E/Tzaia-ABtqI/AAAAAAAAQi4/Nq9ufh5n2NU/s1600/fox%2Bvintage%2Bimage%2BGraphicsFairy002.jpg
5.
Fort Peck Tribes:http://www.billings.k12.mt.us/literacy/mont_indian/ftpeck.jpg
6.
Up close
:http://proof.nationalgeographic.com/2014/09/26/michael-forsberg-moving-slowly-to-capture-the-swift-fox/
7.
Swift Fox Kits: http://mynarskiforest.purrsia.com/ev26b.jpg
Swift Fox Alert: http://proof.nationalgeographic.com/files/2014/09/SWF_20100724_141.jpg