Jane in UT Wonderland

             It was the year 2001 and again Jane was the first to complete her computer program for her project involving variables, operators, and conditional statements.  She “had learnt of several things of this sort in her lessons in the school-room” (Carroll 13) at the University of Texas at Arlington (UTA).  Her life seemed too boring.  She yearned for more competition, challenge, and an environment where she could practice her beliefs.  Her day was over and all her work was done.  She then hopped into her car and drove to Dallas to visit her parents on this “golden afternoon” (Carroll 7). 

            At last, she was at home and, surprisingly, her brother, Robert, was there also, visiting from Austin.  She began telling him of her problems with life and college at UTA.  Looking only half-concerned, Robert responded, “Jane, shut up.  You should just go to The University of Texas at Austin (UT).  It’ll definitely be a different experience for you.”  She then browsed the Internet and found a link to UT’s application stating, “FILL ME OUT.”  Jane submitted her application, received her letter of acceptance, and was on her way. 

            She was finally at UT and, hopefully, on a better path to figure out what she wanted to do in life.  Upon her arrival in Austin, she stayed at the Castilian dormitory near campus.  She mostly followed Robert around campus to see how he lived his life away from home.  He moved too fast, though, causing her to get lost.  The first day of class began, and her first class was Macroeconomics, then Calculus, Chemistry, and British Literature.  Each class door she opened led a new world of fields and possibilities she had never even known about.  If she could only find the key to the appropriate door, her right match, she’d be able to find what her brother had found, his own personal interest, major, and dream.  However, it was difficult for her to figure it out and following her brother always led her to mysterious, unfamiliar paths.  After feelings of loneliness and thoughts of confusion, she began her first walk down Speedway.  To her surprise, she became just another person in the pool of students.  “Her first idea was that she had

somehow fallen into the sea” (Carroll 24).  Now she had wished she had never taken the path to UT that her brother suggested.  Just then she spotted in a distance an old friend from high school, Wendy.  She approached Wendy and asked where she must go to find her dreams.  Wendy then led her to Welch where she guided Jane to the door of her Chemistry class.  “I chose Pre-Med and maybe that is what is right for you,” she preached.  Wendy then goes on to tell her about how she chose the major and what sparked her interest in the subjects she studied.  What an interesting life story it was!  “The tale went something like this:-“ (Carroll 34)

“So I came to UT and I was thinking, ‘What am I going to

major in?’ And so I went to this academic advisor.  I

mean I knew I wanted to do something with the

sciences, but I wasn’t sure what.  High school

I mean really, taught me pretty much

nothing.  If I stop to think about

it though, UT is a good school”

“You’re not even listening!” said Wendy upon discovering Jane’s face expression.  “No wait!  I could really use your help!” Jane yelled as Wendy began walking away.  Jane then spotted Robert on his way to class.  He approached her, gave her the keys to his room and asked if she could fetch his identification card because he’d be too busy.  Without even receiving a response from her, he took off chanting, “I must go prepare or I’ll be late.  I must hurry.”  “Go where?  Prepare for what?  Damn it Robert, tell me where you’re going!” Jane yelled out.  After giving up, she started heading toward to the dorm to run the errand for her brother.

            Jane arrived at the dorm and spotted a homeless man smoking a cigarette out in front.  The man asked Jane who she was and what she was doing there, as if he belonged there and not her.  She began to tell a little about herself and how she felt lost in life, especially after the changes she had recently experienced.  The man then began to preach about how he knew life.  After his preach was over, he offered her two paths to choose from that he believed would solve her dilemma: the left path being that she goes back home and attend UTA again and the right path being that she stays here and figures out what she wants.  She chose the right path and the man smiled and walked away.

            She then decided to walk around campus.  As she walked around the commons area, in front of the main tower, her cell phone began to ring.  It’s Orton!  Orton had always been her friend since freshman year at UTA.  He and she engage in a conversation about her path to figuring out her dream.  Orton advised her that all things are not as they appear and that she would get through this problem easily after some time.  After hanging up the phone, she walked to Starbucks and sat at a big rectangle table where two girls, a blonde and a brunette, were discussing current events.

            One of the girls offered Jane some Chai tea, but only coffee was at the table.  “Where is the tea?” Jane asked.  “We don’t have tea, “ said the other girl.   “Oh, well then that was a bit rude of y’all to offer me something y’all didn’t have.” Jane responded.  “It wasn’t very civil of you to sit down without being invited” (Carroll 70), the blonde remarked.  Silence struck the table and the two girls began to chat again.  Jane then asked, “Are y’all discussing alcohol?”  “Why yes we are,” the brunette added.  “I have a good one, listen to this” the blonde exclaimed, “This really drunk guy walks up to a parking meter and puts in a quarter.  He stares at the needle that has stopped at 60 and exclaims, ‘I can’t believe I’ve lost 100 pounds!’” the blonde said (Alcohol Shorts 1).  They all laughed together and every joke proceeding was related to alcohol as well.  On and on they continued and Jane would crack a blonde joke every now and then to diversify the topics of humor.  The blonde began to get annoyed and offended.  She and the brunette began to verbally abuse Jane. “You’re stupid!  Quit talking to us now,” they demanded.  Out of great disgust and anger, Jane stormed out of Starbucks.  After stepping out of Starbucks, she saw Orton disappear.  Although she couldn’t see him, she could hear him as he spoke, “Don’t let distress block your path.”  “Where are you?  This is getting annoying.” Jane questioned.  No response.   It was time for Jane to go to work anyways, so tried not to let it bother her too much.

            She jumped in her car and drove to Moreland Properties.  Upon her arrival, she noticed three men sipping Starbucks coffee frantically.  “What are y’all doing?” Jane asked while approaching them.  “We made a deal with Mozart’s Coffee Shop that we would only purchase coffee from them as long as they ensure us more parking spots, so we must finish our drinks that we’ve purchased from Starbucks, before the vice president comes.”  “Yeah, I mean, I don’t even like Mozart’s Coffee.  Starbucks tastes so much better” remarked another man.  The vice president, of the company, then approached the men as they slurped the last drops of coffee.  “Who are these men and what are they doing with Starbucks drinks?” the vice president asked.  “I don’t know who they are, but I think it was an honest mistake.  I informed them about our deal with Mozart’s and they honestly didn’t know about it until now.” Jane responded.  The manager looked at the men and screamed, “You’re all fired!  How dare you risk breaking a deal that may in turn affect our business?!”  This was very frightening for Jane.  If the vice president suspected Jane of drinking a drink from Starbucks, she could be fired too.  The vice president then turned to Jane and asked, “These men just killed my mood.  However, a round of golf should ameliorate this horrible feeling.  Interested?”  Jane replied, “Sure.  Why not?  I have nothing else to do.”

            The golf course was beautiful.  Located in the outskirts of Austin, Jane got to experience green like never before.  The game itself was peculiar however.  Instead of using golf clubs, baseball bats were used and rather than using a tee, dirt was piled up.  Then, out of the blue, Orton appeared.  Orton began advising Jane on how to hit the ball and which baseball bat would give her the best shot.  The owner, Eric, of the company appeared after noticing Orton and asked him to leave, “You cannot be here.  You are making too much noise.  Golf is a game of silence.”  The vice president and the owner began to argue whether having Orton should be present or not.  Then they looked to Jane to decide, since Orton was her friend in the first place.  “I don’t see why he should leave.  He’s helping my handicap anyways so I’m reaping the benefits from him.” Jane advised.  A discussion then began between her and the vice president about life.  Orton then slipped away and disappeared, being the mysterious person that he is.  The vice president then directed Jane to return to school and to speak with her advisor to discover which path she should take.  Out of an unpredictable, sudden burst of anger the vice president began running around and firing everyone who was playing golf with them, even the people that didn’t work for the company.  Afraid that Jane would be a target of losing her job, she decided to run away to her car and head back to campus.

            “Hmm, it’s after 5pm.  I can park behind the Co-Op” Jane thought as she began to approach West Campus.  She parked her car and ran across the street to get on campus.  She passed Spanish style, rectangular, architectural structures on her right and an enormous, ugly, modern building on her left as she ran toward the advisors’ building.  The building was Gebauer and one could easily spot the Spanish influence on its structure.  After entering, she immediately sat in a chair next to an advisor.  The advisor questioned Jane for approximately fifteen minutes, asking questions ranging from her interests to her favorite studies.  In the end, she concluded that she should major in Economics.  She then handed Jane an advertisement for the next Economics Association meeting, told her to explore it, and wished her good luck.  The meeting would coincidentally begin upon finishing with the advisor, so Jane was on her way to what she hoped would lead her to her right path.

            Upon entering the room, she noticed the members were having an election for new officers.  She then spotted Robert at the front of the room, giving a speech on how he would be the best Information Technology officer.  Jane grabbed a ballot and circled random candidates with their appropriate office, and of course circling her brother’s name as well.  After turning in her paper and counting the ballots, the president of UTEA requested that Jane walk to the front of the room.  Jane did as told and was then accused of not having paid her dues, but yet voting in the election.  They set her as an example for what other non-members should not do and everyone in the class began screaming, “She didn’t pay her dues!  Cheater!  Leech!  Trying to get benefits for free!”  Frantic and scared, Jane kept screaming back, “No I didn’t mean to.  I was just wondering where Robert was headed and why he was so busy.  He was in such a hurry and seemed so occupied.  I just wanted to support him by voting.  I didn’t think twice about membership dues.”  After screaming back at the crowd, she started heading for the exit.  Toward the exit, Orton appeared again.  “It’s okay Jane,” he said, “If you think about it, half of these people won’t even recognize you tomorrow.  Don’t make a big deal out of this.”  She ran and ran and ran, repeatedly chanting, “I only wanted to know where Robert was going.  I just wanted to know.  I just wanted to know.”

            Apparently she ran and ran to a point where she woke up.  “Ahh, it was just a dream.  What a relief!” she thought to herself.  The blankets and pillows were hanging off She then took notice of the blankets and pillows hanging off the edge of the bed, probably because she was kicking in her sleep.  Glad that none of the events in her dream really took place, she began to observe how each event had led to a stranger and stranger path.  “What an odd dream,” she thought.  Her cell phone then went off and she answered, “Hello?”  “Hey Jane, it’s me Orton,” he said.  “Hey Orton, I just had the strangest dream where I was on a journey, similar to the one in Alice in Wonderland.  I think you represented the Cheshire-Cat in my dream too!”

Word Count:  2,239
 

Key

Alice - Jane

Robert – White Rabbit

Cheshire Cat – Orton

Mouse – Wendy

Mad Hatter & March Hare – Blonde and Brunette at Starbucks

Cards Painting Flowers – Three Men Sipping Starbucks Coffee at Work

Queen of Hearts – Female Owner of Moreland (Work)

King of Hearts – Male Owner of Moreland (Work)

Caterpillar – Homeless Guy

Mock Turtle – Advisor

Bibliography

Alcohol Shorts <http://www.lifeisajoke.com/alcohol4_html.htm> 2003: 1.

Carroll, Lewis. Alice in Wonderland.  New York, London: 2000: 7-70.