B. Dawn Purser
E320M Bump
Project One
I
received a most peculiar birthday gift from an uncle who, before yesterday, I
believed to have disappeared. My latest memories of him are fanatical tales of
seemingly ancient literary greats, which often warranted a dubious response
from our family. However, delighted over the notion that my elusive uncle
remembered my birthday, I sat to pore over the opening pages of the tattered
book almost immediately.
“When one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but
translated into a better language.”
-John Donne, Devotions Upon
Emergent Occasions, Meditation 17
October 14, 1584
I am John Donne, and these are my memoirs. By
leaving such insight to my own life behind, I hope to be not forgotten after
death but better understood. I hope that my own chapter in this world is not
discarded, but reread, understood, and conveyed for years to come. I begin in
my youthful days as a university student. I am writing now, in my second year
at Oxford University, as I sit outside Hart Hall, my current living quarters.
Hart Hall at Oxford Jester Dormitory at UT
Shocked,
I instinctively let the book drop to the table in front of me. My uncle’s
mysterious gift is none other than the personal journal of the renowned John
Donne, former Oxford attendee! Donne’s experiences at Oxford in the 16th
century must have greatly differed from my own at present day University of
Texas. “Hart Hall,” I thought to myself. Surely enough, the construction and
design of the residence were infinitely different than the Jester dormitory at
UT. Intrigued, I read more:
Today I find myself in deep personal turmoil. I
feel isolated from my peers as I am of a Catholic background. I have just been
informed that I will not be awarded a degree because of my family’s religion. I
have been recently informed that in order to obtain my degree, I must take the
Oath of Supremacy which declares that the King is in fact the head of the
church, belief that my family, as Catholics, do not hold. Could this be
correct? How should one’s religious beliefs be basis for such a denial? Others
of my family’s faith are suffering persecution all over the land of England,
and no I must be made to suffer a silent one despite my achievements here at
the university. Further still—I am not yet sure that this ideology is one that
I feel with my own heart. Even so, I cannot disgrace my family by taking such
an oath. My studies have become my escape. While I am an outsider among the
other scholars I can throw myself into the unbiased words and teachings I am
privileged to study. My literature classrooms offer more comfort than my own
mind. My professor’s wise words drown out the unflattering remarks of my fellow
students.
A
Literature Building at Oxford
Parlin at UT
My
heart ached for Donne as I allowed myself to live his experience as a student
at Oxford. Torn by confusion over the instilled religious beliefs that are the
cause of separation from his peers and discrimination by the University, Donne
is forced to throw his whole heart into his studies. My thoughts wander to
present day UT—a virtual melting pot of religious and racial diversity. UT
welcome nonconformity and provides the perfect backdrop for celebrating ones
individual beliefs. John Donne found himself isolated for being different, but
today at UT, one’s “differences” can actually be a catalyst of growing closer
to other students. Donne’s inability to earn a degree on the grounds that he is
of a different religion is outrageous by today’s standards, is certainly
illegal at the University of Texas. Like John Donne during his time at Oxford,
I am Catholic. But as a Catholic at the University of Texas, I have discovered
endless opportunities for involvement with and exploration of my faith and have
met a multitude of people with whom to share it. I have never once felt
isolated or rejected. Pulling myself out of my reverie, I returned to Donne:
I spent this morning in the library, but concentration on my current
assignment eluded me. At times I feel such utter inspiration, but at the same
time, coherent thoughts will not come. The very buildings here are so proud—so
scholarly. But often times I do not feel that I belong. My father wrote to
suggest I spend the remainder of my education at Cambridge. This school is also
governed under the Act of Supremacy, and thus I will neither be allowed a
degree as a graduate of Cambridge. Leaving Oxford for Cambridge is a perplexing
proposal. A deeply rooted rivalry exists between the two schools—I have heard
the stories are possibly hundreds of years old. I feel loyalty to Oxford, as it
is that I am presently here and that it is here that I have experienced my
first higher education, but to what do I owe an institution that will not
acknowledge my efforts and achievements with a degree?
Library at Oxford Library at UT
As my mind returns to the equal opportunity present, I
almost chuckled at the thought a “rivalry” between universities in the 16th
century. Did they have school songs that ridiculed their enemies? Did they make
up rhymes and chants to caricature their rival’s faults? I cannot help but
imagine scholars from Oxford and Cambridge, decked out in 16th
century garb, shouting and taunting each other on the streets of the West End
in Dallas, the night before the TX-OU football game. Surely such serious
students of these historical, revered, all-male universities never reduced
themselves to showing their school’s hand symbols into one another’s faces and
dressing completely in their school’s color. Somehow an ancient rivalry such as
one between Oxford and Cambridge seems that it should be of a more civilized nature—simply
boasting of the achievements of their graduates, or something along those
lines. I relate to Donne’s comments on the thought of leaving one school for
the other. When a new student announces he transferred from A&M, such a
statement is often met with sarcastic comments and surprise. Furthermore, our
present day college rivalries are based on sports and reputations—concepts very
much non-existent for the students of 16th century Cambridge and
Oxford. Such a rivalry must have been formed over competition to be the best
source of a higher education, or having the most renowned professors. Hoping he
will find some solace in his inner struggles, I turn back to Donne:
“No man is an island, entirely of itself, every man is a piece of the
continent, a part of the main…”
--Meditation 17
While Oxford has often been my foundation for new thoughts and
opportunity, I sometimes feel trapped here. I long to explore beyond the
confines of the university. I long to experience the arts—literature, theatre,
and foreign lands. I long to fall in love. I have gained knowledge of a naval
expedition under the command of Robert Devereux, second Early of Essex, which
will in the future embark to avert Cadiz, Spain. Such an experience is merely a
dream of mine now, but perhaps will become a reality someday.
I feel that now I am seeing such a small portion of the world I need to
seek further inspiration for my writing.
Aerial view of Oxford Aerial view of UT
By the standards of present day University of Texas,
Donne is confined—IS experiencing a tiny portion of life. In the late 16th
century, when John Donne studied at Oxford, only a few thousand undergrads
joined him, all of them male. Today at UT, over 50,000 undergrads attend.
Almost a perfect 50-50 ratio of female to male students exists at the
University of Texas. I would have not only been denied a degree on the basis of
my Catholic faith had I attended Oxford back in the 1500s, but I would have
been denied admittance altogether on the basis of my gender. Overall, my
experience today at the University of Texas is certainly more enriching and
opportunistic than one of would have had at Oxford during John Donne’s time.
I am mystified as to how my uncle obtained such a rare
and valuable piece of history—and even more mystified as to what business I
have in owning it. I look forward to experiencing with Donne his many
adventures that are to come.
Bibliography:
1.John Donne. 18 February
2004. <http://www2.wku.edu/~vanzekm/>
2. The History of Oxford
University. 18 February 2004.
<http://www.picturesofengland.com/history/oxford-university-history.html>
3. John Donne. 18 February
2004.
<http://www.luminarium.org/sevenlit/donne/donnebio.htm>
4. Oxford. 18 February 2004.
<http://15.1911encyclopedia.org/O/OX/OXFORD.htm>