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[Oct. 2nd, 2003|12:32 pm]
We’ve been spending many of our World Lit classes at Waller Creek lately. It is a creek that runs through the middle of campus, but seems completely secluded from the busy streets above it. I love sitting on the rocks and writing about nature, sense of time and space, or whatever prompt Professor Bump gives us. Last week, for instance, I wrote:
“Right now, on the morning of September 25, 2003 C.E., I sit on a limestone rock in the middle of Waller Creek in Austin, Texas, United States of America, North America, Planet Earth, the Milky Way. But what, really, does that mean? Where am I? “O Earth, what changes hast thou seen?” (143)
This ‘small, lazy creek’ (163) has been here for hundreds of years. It didn’t start as a creek running along San Jacinto Boulevard in the middle of a busy campus. In fact, not much more than a century, ago, there was no campus, just the developing city of Austin. Not long before that, there were no Americans here. Before that, no America. Just since the existence of mankind, many different people, many different types of people, have lived here, traveled through here, admired this creek, bathed in or drank from its waters, or trod across this land before there even wasa creek. Prehistoric Asians, American Indians, Spanish, English, French, Americans, and (more recently) people from virtually every other country and ethnicity have lived here, from 2 million years ago (128) to today, to me. That is an incredible number of people who have changed and marked this place, whether with just a footprint (like most) or with the dedication of ‘many years (now approaching 50)’ (170), as Joe Jones did.
Would this place be vastly different if one or two (or even 100 or 200) of those people hadn’t been here? Probably not. But the combined change caused by all those people would add up over time. But I have not even considered anything before humans. All of the animals—the fish, squirrels, birds, dinosaurs, “Mososaurs, Dimetrodons, Quetzalcoatluses, shellfish, Plesiosuars, Pteradactyls,” (135-136) beetles, ants, mosquitoes, snakes—have caused at least as much (if not more) change as humans. This is their land’ we’re just borrowing it. They were the ones who created (although inadvertently) the limestone upon which I sit, the predecessors of the fish that dart beneath my feet and the mosquitoes which suck my blood. They were here for millions of years before us and will probably be here for millions of years after us. We must care for it while we are here or else it won’t be ours for very long.
This still doesn’t really answer where I am, though. I am in a place that has a rich history, yes. But aren’t all places like that, if you dig deep enough? I know very little about where I am geographically. I know I’m in Austin, on the UT campus, etc, etc. I also know where I’m not: this is not Ohio; I’m quite far from home. This is not Spain or Costa Rica or New York. This isn’t even Dallas or Amarillo. This is ‘central Travis County…in Austin…The creek is an area characterized by a rolling terrain and expansive clay soils. Although situated in an urban area, the creek is near a variety of vegetation, including oak and juniper trees’ (162). So I’m in a sort of natural preserve, a place that ‘has survived the abuse and neglect of town’ (163). I’m sitting with my feet in a creek in a university with over 50,000 students. I’m at UT. I’m in Texas. I’m in nature and civilization at the same time. And yet, strangely enough, I’m home.”
I do feel more at home now. I’ve gotten used to my small room; now it seems cozy, not cramped. I know people and places around campus and I’ve made great friends. Even though I’m just one of 52,000 here, I’m finding my niche so that I can grow and flourish in my years here at U.T.
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[Sep. 3rd, 2003|09:50 pm]
I can’t believe that I’m really here at the University of Texas. It all seems so dreamlike, so surreal. It was just two and a half weeks ago that I hopped on a plane in Cincinnati, left everything and everyone familiar to me, and came to Austin. Everywhere I go, I am surrounded by people and places unfamiliar to me. Somehow, though, I don’t feel entirely out of place; I know that I belong here. I know that this is the best university for me, with the best programs, best band, and best atmosphere. As I walk through campus, I see pass hundreds of other students who, like me, have been drawn to U.T. to study everything under the sun! I have chosen physics, linguistics, and Plan II, but I’ve met anthropologists, classicists, engineers, musicians, artists, and many others. I know that I can study whatever I wish here; I won’t be limited in any way.
Even though I love it here, I can’t help but feel disconnected from home. My parents and sisters are all there while I am here, a thousand miles away. My dorm room doesn’t seem my own; this bed is strange; the communal showers and toilets are down the hall, past the rooms of girls I do not know. At home, my mom has already painted my bedroom walls and cleaned out most of my “junk.” Here, I must share my room with a girl I don’t even know, sleep on a bed that’s almost too small, and live in a plain, white box. It’s cold and foreign. I’ve put up pictures and posters, brought blankets and pillows, and tried my best to make this space my own, but it’s not the same. I can no longer flop on the living room couch to nap, raid the full-sized refrigerator for a snack, or stay up all night without worrying about bothering anyone else. Most of all, though, I miss the companionship that I had at home. I’m not yet close to anyone here. My friends are all across the country now—Columbus, Dayton, New York, Michigan—while I’m here, virtually alone. Friends of two weeks can’t compare to friends of 10 years. In time, though, I’m sure I’ll find my niche in this huge university.
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